AITA for Kicking Out My Stepdad After Mom Died and Refusing to Give Him Money? I (37M) met my late wife, R (52F when she passed), when I was 26 and she was 45. Our relationship faced significant scrutiny due to our age difference and the fact that I was an immigrant while she was a U.S. citizen. R had a son, P, from a previous marriage, who was 18 when we started dating.
Although P and I never developed a close relationship, I made an effort to tolerate him out of respect for R. We married on my 29th birthday and moved into her house.
Four years ago, R’s life was tragically cut short in an accident. The loss was devastating, and I struggled deeply, barely making it through the funeral.
In the aftermath, P discovered that R had left him the house in her will. While I was aware of the will and had no real interest in the property, I was in no emotional state to search for alternative housing. I asked P if I could remain in the house for just another two weeks, but he refused.
He wanted the house for himself and his pregnant girlfriend. P accused me of robbing him of his inheritance, asserting that R had left him only the house while I received the financial assets. He discarded my belongings with callous disregard, treating them as if they were worthless. To him, they might have been, but for me, they were precious mementos of R.
Since that time, I have had no contact with P.
Last week, on R’s birthday, I visited her grave as I do every year to honor her memory. To my surprise, P was there as well. He greeted me and struck up a brief, courteous conversation. As I was preparing to leave, he invited me to dinner. I declined the offer but gave him my contact information, albeit without much thought.
A few days later, P reached out to me with an unusual proposal. He asked if I would consider buying the house from him. He needed funds for a business venture. I suggested that he seek a loan from a bank, but he revealed that he already had a loan on the property and needed the money to pay it off.
Moreover, He also requested that, after purchasing the house, I allow him to continue living there. He argued that I should ensure his “grandson” (his child) had a roof over his head, asserting that this was something R would have wanted.
I was enraged. The pain of losing R came rushing back, and I could clearly see the remnants of our life together—my treasured keepsakes, now discarded. The whole situation made me want to lash out, but I’ve tried to stay composed and refrain from reacting impulsively. I needed a way to express my frustration, so I’m sharing my experience here.
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AITA for Kicking Out My Stepdad After Mom Died and Refusing to Give Him Money?
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I (37M) met my late wife, R (52F when she passed), when I was 26. Our relationship faced criticism due to our age difference and my immigrant status. R’s son, P, was 18 at the time. Although we never bonded, I respected him for R’s sake. We married on my 29th birthday and lived in her house.
After R’s tragic death four years ago, P learned that she had left the house to him. I had no interest in the house, but I was grieving and needed more time to find a new place. P refused my request for a two-week extension, wanting the house for himself and his girlfriend. He accused me of taking his inheritance and threw out my belongings, which were precious to me as memories of R.
I haven’t spoken to P since. Last week, on R’s birthday, I saw P at her grave. He invited me to dinner and asked for my contact info. A few days later, he called asking if I’d buy the house. He needed money for a business venture and to pay off an existing loan on the house. He also wanted to continue living there after the sale for his child’s sake, claiming it’s what R would have wanted.
I was outraged. The memories of R and the way my things were discarded came rushing back. I’m trying to stay calm and not react, but I need to vent.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Kicking Out My Stepdad After Mom Died and Refusing to Give Him Money?
Write him a text. Something like
“You kicked me out without warning and you destroyed the things your mother and I had gotten together. We have not been in contact for years. I do not wish to continue contact. I hope the best for you and your family. I will not be helping”
Complikatee writes:
Using his son as blackmail was a particularly shitty touch. Be prepared for more from him, he’s tried the nice approach, the nasty one may be coming next. Coming after “his inheritance’ maybe
MizzyvonMuffling writes:No no and another no. Don’t give him anything, cut contact, you are not even related (by blood). Take good care of yourself!!Pinepark writes:Ask if R would have wanted her husband kicked out and his belonging destroyed?throwa_3043747698666 writes:
Wow, that is strong… he wouldn’t give you as a grieving widower two weeks, but he expects you to buy his house and then continue to let him live in there? For free, I assume?