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Every Christmas, my family goes to Hawaii. We changed our plans after having kids to celebrate with my husband’s parents on New Year’s Eve and then head to Hawaii for Christmas.
AITA for Taking the Kids to Hawaii for Christmas Without My Husband?
Last year, we skipped Hawaii because my father-in-law passed away, which was tough on my husband and his mom. This year, we planned to spend Thanksgiving with his mom and then go to Hawaii, but a week before our flight, my husband wanted to stay home with his mom, feeling she needed support.
I was upset since we had a plan, and my dad had already booked everything. We argued, and I suggested the kids and I go to Hawaii while he stayed with his mom. He agreed but was unhappy.
Now, I’m in Hawaii with the kids, and he’s at home, barely responding to my texts and cutting our calls short.
So, am I wrong for sticking to our plan and going to Hawaii without him?
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Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Taking the Kids to Hawaii for Christmas Without My Husband?
So they see his family for (at least) the 3rd time this year and don’t get to see her family at all for a second year in a row? They made a plan in advance, it was bought and paid for, then a week beforehand husband wants to change everything. That just doesn’t seem fair at all.
YTA for this “After me and my husband had kids we had to reorganize our family Christmas plans because his parents wanted to see our kids for Christmas, so we decided that we would celebrate Christmas with his parents on New Years and go to Hawaii for actual Christmas” What part exactly did you reorganize? You still kept going to Hawaii every year, it was your husband’s parents who change their Christmas celebration to New Year. Obviously husband shouldn’t have waited till after the tickets were bought before voicing his concerns but it really doesn’t sound like it would have made a difference. You make it sound like your father’s in law passing away last year was just an inconvenience that kept you from going to your trip and your failing to show your husband any empathy, you’re just thinking about yourself.
I think NTA because you stayed home the first year after his Dad passed away and you had agreed to the Thanksgiving/Christmas arrangement for this year. He changed his mind after all the arrangements were made.
However, I think you and your husband need to talk about this more. Where are he and his Mom in their grieving processes? How does he envision things working in future years? Does he want every Christmas with his Mom now? Does he want to do alternate Christmases? Or is this year just particularly hard for both of them?
Also, is there an option to have your MIL join you in Hawaii since she’s on her own?
EDIT: Yes I have read OPs comments (which were posted after mine). I may not agree with her entire perspective, but it doesn’t change my thoughts and suggestions above.
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