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AITA for Craftily Handling My MIL Unyielding Demand for a House Key? In a recent family dispute, a woman found herself under fire after her creative response to her mother-in-law’s (MIL) persistent demand for a house key. The woman and her husband had recently bought a new home, establishing a strict rule that only residents would have keys.
Despite this, the MIL kept insisting she needed a copy for emergencies. The couple’s steadfast adherence to their rule led to tension, with the MIL complaining to other family members about their decision.
Frustrated by the MIL’s relentless requests, the woman decided to make a point. She sent the MIL a copy of the key to her own house, along with a note explaining their rule about keyholders. This gesture was meant to emphasize their boundaries and highlight the MIL’s unreasonable expectations. The MIL, however, did not take it well and expressed her outrage to the family, leading to the woman being criticized and labeled as disrespectful.
The woman’s husband later voiced his disappointment, believing that her bold move had unnecessarily escalated the conflict. He suggested that a simple, direct refusal might have avoided further drama. This incident sheds light on the complexities of family dynamics, where setting boundaries can often lead to misunderstandings and heightened emotions, especially when it involves access to personal spaces.
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AITA for Craftily Handling My MIL Unyielding Demand for a House Key?
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Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Craftily Handling My MIL Unyielding Demand for a House Key?
NTA.
When I read the title I thought you were going to pretend it was the correct key, and see how long it would take for her to try it.
Absolutely SHE is the AH for pestering you about this when it is clearly your choice.
But yeah, your husband has a point about you stirring the pot.
ESH. Your husband nailed it. You escalated when you could have just kept saying no or ignored her. Also, I’m sure he would like to have a key to his mom’s place in case of emergency and you took that away.
MIL sucks for obvious reasons. She should have accepted the first no.
Edit to add: everyone saying she made a copy of the mom’s key and sent it is incorrect. OP states “I decided to grab the copy of the key to HER HOUSE that my husband was keeping for years and sent it to her”. She did not go make a copy. She grabbed THE copy. It was her husband’s key to his mom’s for emergencies and she took it away. That crosses so many lines and I get why her husband is upset she escalated. You don’t go from no to stealing your husband’s property and getting rid of it.
NTA. Why not add something onto this. “Okay, MiL can have a copy of our house key AFTER the security cameras are installed in the main areas, etc. Don’t trust MiL? Oh honey no, it’s because how can we inform her there’s an emergency if we can’t see it to inform her?”
Every single time I’ve seen a relative demand a house key, the sole reason is they are gossipy snoopers/borderline creeps. Overall, sending her key back reinforces your boundary. Only residents have a key. You are not a resident of her home so should not have a key.
NTA. Fuck that, absolutely fuckin not. My husband’s mother used to have a key to our home. She would absolutely barge in whenever she felt like it (which was at least once a week) and she would become LIVID if we objected. She had absolutely zero issue getting up in my face and screaming at me when we objected to her barging in with every BS “justification” in the book.
IN LAWS ABSOLUTELY DO NOT GET A KEY TO MY HOME THAT THEY DO NOT LIVE IN. FUCK THAT SHIT.
NTA, sometimes we have to try new ways of communicating the same information.
We are not required to constantly take verbal and physical and mental abuse and harassment in order to “not escalate” a situation. The continuation of the harassment is already escalation. Now that everybody knows what you said, when she asks again, and you simply say no… She will have nobody to complain to because you were doing exactly what they told you you should and how can you be wrong for that?
It never ceases to amaze me how family members will jump right in to a conflict that isn’t any of their business in the first place. Why would she try to get other family members involved? That just shows immaturity. Also, when someone won’t shut up about a particular subject, sometimes you have to escalate the situation just to get it to stop. I don’t know if you did the right thing or not, but I don’t understand what your husband expected you to do. He is the one that should have shut her down in the first place, and he didn’t so how can he have a problem with the way you did it? NTA
