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It began with cruel name-calling and slurs aimed at Shaun because he’s gay. What started as verbal abuse soon turned into cyberbullying and, eventually, physical violence. The worst incident involved a brutal assault where the attackers nearly beat him unconscious, leaving him with a face full of bruises and blood. I tried tirelessly to get these bullies held accountable, but they were dismissed as “just kids being too rough.”
The trauma was so severe that Shaun couldn’t bring himself to attend school for nearly four months. During that time, he was on the verge of taking his own life, and my wife intervened just in time to save him. After getting the help he needed and moving to a new place, Shaun is now recovering and starting over with our family.
However, during our Fourth of July visit back to our hometown, my niece showed up with Derek—the very bully from Shaun’s past. As soon as I saw Derek, I recognized him immediately, and he recognized me too, as he left almost immediately. I confronted my niece, questioning her decision to bring him, considering what he had done to Shaun. She brushed it off, saying Derek had changed and that it was all in the past.
Her indifferent response was infuriating. My sister attempted to reason with her, but my niece insisted she had every right to bring her boyfriend and claimed it wasn’t Derek’s fault if Shaun hadn’t moved on. My wife, outraged, called her heartless, and we left with our kids.
I told my niece that if Derek had truly changed, he should pay for her education because I was no longer willing to support her.
Now, my sister, brother-in-law, and others are reaching out, accusing me of overreacting and saying I shouldn’t deny my niece her education. They all seem to agree that Derek has changed and shouldn’t be held accountable for his past actions forever.
AITA?
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AITA For Not Paying For My Niece?
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The bullying began when my son, Shaun, was just 13. While some might view it as a distant memory, the reality of what he faced was anything but benign.
Initially, it started with derogatory names and slurs—Shaun is gay. But it didn’t stop there. It quickly escalated to cyberbullying and physical violence, culminating in an attack where the kids nearly beat him unconscious. His face was left bruised and bloodied a sight I can’t erase from my memory. Despite my persistent efforts to hold the bullies accountable, they were brushed off as simply “playing too rough.”
Shaun was so devastated that he couldn’t bring himself to go to school for nearly four months. During that time, he was on the brink of ending his life, and it was only by sheer luck that my wife intervened just in time. With professional help and a fresh start, he’s on the mend. We moved away, giving our family a chance to rebuild.
I’m sharing this to make it clear: this wasn’t just a case of kids being kids. It was something far worse.
Financially, I’m well-off and had promised to fund my niece’s college education.
However, during our Fourth of July visit to our hometown, my niece surprised us by bringing Derek the very bully I thought we’d left behind. I recognized him immediately, and he quickly fled after seeing me. When I confronted my niece about her choice, she dismissed my concerns, saying Derek had changed and that it was all in the past.
Her dismissive attitude was infuriating. My sister tried to support her, but my niece argued that she had every right to introduce her boyfriend, and if Shaun hadn’t moved on, it wasn’t Derek’s fault. In frustration, my wife called her callous, and we left with our children.
I told my niece that if Derek had truly changed, he should be the one to cover her college expenses, as I’m withdrawing my support.
Now, my sister, brother-in-law, and others are reaching out, accusing me of overreacting and insisting I shouldn’t withhold my niece’s education. They argue that Derek has changed and shouldn’t be judged forever for his past behavior.
AITA?
Let’s find out the top comments on this post: AITA For Not Paying For My Niece?
I was bullied as young as 4 AND it still affects me. My last bullying was when I was 14-15 and I’ve still not forgiven the person. It hurt me so much and this wasn’t even physical.
The psychological effect is damaging. I still shy away from people as an adult. His niece should pay for her education
Disastrous-Panda5530 Writes:
NTA. My son (17) was bullied quite badly last year. He has autism and a language disorder and he’s a pretty quiet and shy kid but kids with autism are often targeted. I didn’t know initially since he didn’t want to tell me but when he was literally crying and begging to stay home I pressed for answers. I couldn’t even remember the last time he cried. He ended up doing the virtual academy option for the year. I can’t imagine as a parent the feeling of seeing your kids bloody and injured. No way would I just get over what happened either. Your niece seems pretty heartless. She isn’t entitled to a paid education either.
