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AITA for buying my daughter a locked storage bin? I’m a 53-year-old father, and my 17-year-old daughter recently started buying her snacks with the money she earns from her job. To keep them safe, I bought her a large storage container with a lock.
She enjoys ordering unique snacks from different countries to expand her horizons and practice reading labels in various languages. The issue is, that my wife frequently invites her sister, brother-in-law, and their kids over.
Despite my daughter’s requests, they keep eating her snacks without asking. These snacks often take weeks to arrive, and by the time she reorders, her current stash is already gone.
My wife didn’t see a problem, saying that if the snacks were in the pantry, they were for everyone. Even when our daughter moved them to her room, her cousins would still take them when she wasn’t around.
To solve this, I bought a large lockable container and added extra locks for security. Our daughter was very grateful since it was something she couldn’t afford herself.
When the cousins found out about the locked container, they complained to their parents, who then told my wife.
She was upset, arguing that our daughter should share and suggesting that keeping the snacks might make her gain weight. However, our daughter is very active and participates in multiple sports.
I suggested that my wife could order her snacks and that our daughter would be happy to share the sources, but she didn’t like that idea. She insisted that the locked container should go and that I should have consulted her before buying it.
So, am I the asshole?
To clarify, the relatives involved are my wife’s sister, her husband, and their kids. The pantry is fully stocked with food, so no one is going hungry and eating my daughter’s snacks out of necessity.
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AITA for buying my daughter a locked storage bin?
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I’m a 53-year old father with a 17-year-old daughter. Recently, I bought her a large, lockable storage container. has a job and enjoys buying her own food and snacksThe problem is, my wife frequently invites her sister, brother-in-law, and their kids over.My wife didn’t intervene, claiming .
that since the snacks were in the pantry, they were for everyone. Even when our daughter moved them to her room, her cousins would still take them when she wasn’t around.
To solve this, I bought a large, lockable container and added extra locks for security.
When the cousins discovered the locked container, they complained to their parents, who then told my wife. She was upset, arguing that our daughter should share and suggesting that keeping the snacks might make her gain weight.
However, our daughter is very active and fit, participating in multiple sports.
I suggested my wife could order her own snacks and that our daughter would be happy to share the sources, but she didn’t like that idea. She insisted that the locked container should go and that I should have consulted her before buying it.
So, am I the asshole?
To clarify, the relatives involved are my wife’s sister, her husband, and their kids. The pantry is fully stocked with food, so no one is going hungry and resorting to my daughter’s snacks out of necessity.
Updated COMMENTS on the Reddit post: AITA for buying my daughter a locked storage bin?
The “weight” crack is almost a red herring. Mom is outraged that she can’t treat her relatives to her daughter’s ‘exotic’, fun snacks anymore. Not sure why/how, and don’t honestly care, but Mom is still primarily loyal to her family of origin over her married family and actual child, which is kind of sickening.
OP is NTA, but I do hope Mom doesn’t just throw away the whole box because she’s big-mad she’s not in control…
Not sure how old the cousins are, but nobody should be snooping in any rooms without permission. Those cousins need to be taught some boundaries, but based on what I’m hearing about your wife and her family it doesn’t sound like they know what boundaries are.
Also, I’m just re-reading that it’s your wife’s cousins? Now I’m really curious how old they are to think it’s ok to go into a 17 year old’s room without permission.
Little boys snooping around in girls bedrooms should be strongly discouraged, not encouraged like this.
They are essentially rewarding the boys and blaming and shaming your daughter for the boys disrespectful boundary breaking behaviour; what message is that sending to both the boys and your daughter and do you think? That boys can do what they want with no regard to consent and boundaries, and girls must let them or be punished.Make no mistake, your wife and SIL are in fact encouraging this behaviour in those boys of entering girls/womens private space/bedrooms without consent in order to snoop and steal.
I think you should ask your wife and SIL if it’s their intention to raise offenders and perps, because reinforcing this bad behaviour may very well be the path to that.
So your wife believes your daughter has the right to earn money and buy things, but no right to keep anything she’s paid for, no right to privacy, and no right to control what she eats or does with her own body. What’s next, pimping her out? She’s teaching her that she exists for the enjoyment of other, more important people. At the moment she’s her relatives’ free snack bar; next she’ll be telling her if a guy spends a lot for dinner…
