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AITA for Bringing Up My Uncle-in-Law Divorce Because He Went Too Far? At 35, after being diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, the protagonist made a life-changing decision to cut meat from her diet, which led to a dramatic improvement in her health. However, her dietary choices recently sparked a major conflict at a family barbecue hosted by her partner Joel’s parents.
During the event, she preferred to stand while eating, a casual habit that didn’t bother anyone—except Dave, her uncle-in-law, notorious for his brash and abrasive personality. Dave took it upon himself to mock her vegetarianism, making snide comments and repeatedly trying to sneak meat onto her plate. His taunts escalated to an offensive display where he chewed a piece of meat inches from her face, daring her to react.
After enduring his bullying for too long, she finally snapped. In a sharp retort, she brought up Dave’s well-known struggles, specifically his battle with alcoholism and the bitter divorce that followed.
She suggested that maybe if he had dealt with his drinking sooner, his marriage might have been saved. Her words hit like a sledgehammer, leaving the barbecue in stunned silence. Dave, furious and humiliated, stormed off, leaving the family to deal with the aftermath.
The incident left the family deeply divided. Joel and her cousins stood by her, understanding the frustration that led to her outburst. However, some aunts and uncles were quick to criticize her, labeling her comment as cruel and unnecessary.
Her in-laws found themselves in a difficult position. While they recognized that Dave had crossed a line with his provocations, they were also uncomfortable with the way she had retaliated. The situation sparked an ongoing debate within the family about boundaries and how to handle conflict, especially when it involves deeply personal matters.
In the end, while her response was harsh, it was a reaction to relentless harassment. The episode highlighted underlying tensions within the family and brought to the surface important questions about how to navigate interpersonal conflicts in a way that respects everyone’s boundaries.
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AITA for Bringing Up My Uncle-in-Law Divorce Because He Went Too Far?
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Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Bringing Up My Uncle-in-Law Divorce Because He Went Too Far?
EnvyTheEnby writes:
NTA. Was it harsh? Maybe. Was it justified? ABSOLUTELY! As a vegetarian myself, I’ve constantly had to put up with family members that act similarly to your uncle. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and you don’t deserve to be mocked for a lifestyle choice that you made because of a medical condition.
blueavole writes:
Remind everyone complaining that you went to far , that THEY had many, many chances to tell Dave to cut it out when he went after you for your:
Medically necessary food choices.
They left you alone to fight, and they don’t have the right to be mad now that you started fighting back.
NTA.
NTA. Sounds like Dave received a lesson courtesy of you:
Don’t start none, won’t be none.
And the fact that his kids think you’re in the right speaks VOLUMES.
NTA. I know everyone likes to stereotype vegans and vegetarians as always being judgmental/critical of others’ food choices and fixating on people who eat meat, but as a vegetarian myself, my own lived experience is identical to what you’ve described here. I never comment on what others eat, but I have received countless unsolicited comments and even full-on lectures about what I eat and it’s beyond obnoxious.
I agree with your FIL and MIL, Uncle Dave had it coming and he got exactly what he deserved.
bamf1701 writes:
NTA. He was being extremely nasty and rude to you with absolutely no reason or excuse to be, other than him enjoying being a bully. This is a perfect case of someone not being able to take what they dish out. And, let’s face it – he lest you alone after that, so mission accomplished.
As far as the rest of the family goes: if they were better at making the alcoholic family member behave, or had come to your defense when he was obviously bullying you, as opposed to just letting him get away with his bad behavior, you wouldn’t have had to resort to what you said.
And it’s telling that your aunts and uncles are threatening you with being banned from family events for what you said, but have put up with the drunk’s bullying you (and I assume other people) with no consequences for him. That is hypocrisy at its finest. Perhaps you ought to point this out to them.
At the least, you sent a message to your uncle that you are not an easy target – that you will fight back.
NTA, good comeback! If you’re going to dish it, you’ve got to be able to take it. It’s not like you wanted Crohn’s
