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In a challenging family dynamic, a father and his ex-wife, who ended their marriage amicably after their children were grown, faced ongoing issues with their son, Michael. Although the parents managed to maintain a cordial relationship, Michael struggled to accept the divorce and frequently voiced his distress.
AITA for Urging My Son to Get Past the Divorce?
During a dinner celebrating Michael’s engagement, he publicly criticized the divorce, which embarrassed his parents. In response, the father expressed frustration and told Michael to “get over it,” leading Michael to withdraw from the event and later criticize his father for being insensitive and airing family grievances in front of others.
The father’s reaction, though born out of frustration, seemed dismissive of Michael’s enduring emotional pain. The father might have handled the situation better by addressing Michael’s feelings privately rather than in a public setting. This approach would have demonstrated more respect for Michael’s emotions while still addressing the need for mutual understanding.
Overall, the situation highlighted the need for improved communication and empathy between father and son, particularly regarding sensitive issues like the divorce.
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A father and his ex-wife, who divorced amicably after their children were grown, faced tension with their son, Michael.
Michael struggled with the divorce and often criticized it publicly.
At Michael’s engagement dinner, he spoke about the trauma of the divorce, embarrassing his parents.
The father, frustrated, told Michael to “get over it,” which led Michael to withdraw and later criticize his father for being disrespectful.
The father’s comment, though understandable, seemed dismissive of Michael’s feelings.
A private discussion might have been more respectful and effective.
The situation underscored the need for better communication and empathy between father and son.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Urging My Son to Get Past the Divorce?
NTA
He’s an adult and can vent in the presence of a professional.
sundayontheluna writes:
Michael has the right to be upset about the divorce, but it doesn’t look like he’s trying to work through it. And it’s mighty hypocritical of him to make the snide comment in front of the in-laws, playing if off as venting, and then objecting to you talking back about it. NTA
NTA. It wasn’t appropriate dinner conversation, but he brought it up first. 9 years is a really long time to not be able to adjust to a change made when he was an adult. Have you ever explained to Michael that you and your ex were only staying together for the kids for most of his life? He can’t just attack you about a decade old divorce every time you interact with him, that’s ridiculous.
NTA…venting at such an event is not appropriate. He should seek the help he needs if he still can’t accept the situation. You have a right to your own happiness and you’ve made every effort to make the situation work.
If your son wants to vent, he needs to go to a therapist. What your son was doing was criticizing you in front of his future in–laws. That’s not right, and you were very gracious in the manner in which you corrected him. NTA.
