While planning their wedding, a couple encountered major family conflicts that led to controversial decisions about guest invitations and financial support. The groom decided to uninvite his mother after learning she had made derogatory comments about his fiancée, including criticism of her appearance and career goals. Although some people viewed this as an overreaction, exacerbated by alcohol, the groom felt that such disrespect could not be tolerated at their wedding.
This decision triggered a heated argument with his father, who was upset about the exclusion of his ex-partner. The father argued that the occasional lapse in judgment should not lead to such severe consequences. However, the groom refused to change his mind, emphasizing the need for respect and comfort for his fiancée.
In response, the father withdrew his financial support for the wedding. Feeling betrayed, the groom chose to uninvite his father as well, viewing his lack of support and understanding as a betrayal.
The groom stressed that his decision was about maintaining a respectful and supportive environment for their special day, not about the financial support. His fiancée, deeply affected by the situation, supported his stance on sticking to their principles despite the criticism. Meanwhile, the groom’s father and his wife publicly criticized the couple, accusing them of entitlement and arrogance for excluding those who disagreed with them.
As tensions continued, the groom recognized the complexities of family dynamics and financial obligations but remained committed to prioritizing his fiancée’s feelings and ensuring a positive wedding experience. Despite the backlash, he believed their choices were essential for a meaningful celebration.
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AITA for Uninviting My Dad After He Pulled Wedding Support?
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During wedding planning, a groom uninvited his mother after discovering she made derogatory comments about his fiancée.
His father, upset by the exclusion, withdrew financial support for the wedding.
In response, the groom also uninvited his father, prioritizing respect for his fiancée over financial concerns.
The groom’s fiancée supported his decision, while the groom’s father and wife publicly criticized the couple for their choices.
Despite the backlash, the groom remained committed to ensuring a respectful and positive wedding environment.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Uninviting My Dad After He Pulled Wedding Support?
YTA for taking such extreme action every time a guest does anything remotely wrong surrounding your wedding.
Yes, it’s your wedding and you can invite and disinvite whoever you want. And yes, standing up for your fianceé is the right thing to do.
However, at least from the way you wrote this, it seems you don’t have any kind of conversations with people before deciding they’re out. And not just any person, but your mother and father.
You’re like the soup nazi from Seinfeld, you just stand there and go “no more wedding for you! Next!”. Heh. It’s quite immature.
Your mother shouldn’t have spoken ill about your fianceé. But is she willing to apologize? Is she remorseful? (EDIT: MIL DID APOLOGIZE). Unless she has a history of being mean to you/your fianceé, I think making her miss her child’s wedding for a one-off comment is extreme. (EDIT: IT TURNS OUT IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND AND THE FIANCEÉ HAS A HISTORY OF TALKING CRAP ABOUT MIL BEHIND HER BACK. LMAO)
Your father shouldn’t have held money over your head. But the funny thing is that he is doing for your mother the same thing you’re doing for your fianceé (even though they aren’t married). He is reacting extremely to you wronging her and going nuclear with “no more wedding money for you!”.
You and your fianceé sound very immature. And while standing up for her is right, you have to be careful to analyze if this isn’t her subtly isolating you from your family. (EDIT: I AM NOW MORE SURE THAN EVER THAT FIANCEÉ IS USING THIS WEDDING FOR A POWER MOVE AND ISOLATING OP FROM HIS PARENTS).
After reading the comments and your replies to the comments I generally think you all are TA. Your fiancé talks shit about your Mom and obviously does it enough that your Mom knows about it. So your Mom tried to correct it with another wrong by also talking shit. Your Dad was being nice in trying to defend his ex wife but he is also an asshole for taking back a gift because he did not get his way.
I think you all need to sit down and have a conversation of what issues there are between fiancé and Mom if you guys ever want to have a good relationship. Otherwise have your wedding and invite who you please and uninvite whoever you want.
I think you all are super immature and enjoy a Jerry Springer type drama situation so I have a feeling this will continue being a thing for a long time unless you can all grow up admit to your mistakes and move tf on.
NTA
Let’s be real, your dad is upset you are holding your mother accountable and not rug sweeping her behavior. He thought that if he pulled the money as a punishment, you would just fold on it.
To be honest, it’s likely that your mother has said much more about your fiance in the past, but this is the first time you were told about it. Her being tipsy isn’t an excuse because the truth tends to flow more. It also doesn’t sound like your mom took any accountability for this either. Her excuse to your family was that you weren’t supposed to hear it so it’s not like she said it to your fiance’s face or yours.
Keep defending her because this isn’t the last time your mom will pull BS.
Jovon35 writes:
I’m going NTA on this one. My reasoning is that your Dad decided to “confront” you regarding your mom being uninvited which leads me to believe that he approached you more aggressively rather than to have a calm rational discussion. When he did not get the response he wanted he decided to pull those invisible strings he had attached to his “gift” to force your hand.
Essentially what he demonstrated was that if he was going to be paying for the wedding he expected ultimate authority instead of doing something kind and loving and supportive of you and your bride. That is never ok behavior. I could be wrong but your post reads like this is not an “unusual” pattern for your parents so perhaps that is why you lead with firm concrete boundaries and that’s fine. Maybe you guys can work it out later…who knows but you did the right thing by your soon to be wife and that’s a huge thing to a marriage’s integrity. Good luck, I hope you guys have a wonderful wedding day and long happy healthy and prosperous marriage.
Wow does no one actually talk to each other like adults in your family? Dropping people over single comments is extreme to say the least. Uninviting from a wedding is a relationship destroying event and feels a bit dramatic if it really is just about a single statement.
YTA