AITA for Thinking About Keeping My Wife Off the House Deed?

My wife and I have been married for three years and keep our finances mostly separate. I make a lot more money than she does, and she stopped working when we had our child. I set up a joint account just for her expenses, funded entirely by me. We both owned homes before marriage—my home is where we live, and she uses hers as a vacation property.

We found a new house we want to buy together, but to afford it, we need to sell one of our current homes. She doesn’t want to sell her place or use any of her savings for the new house. She says her contribution is taking care of our baby, and I’ve offered to arrange child care if she wants to go back to work.

I told her that while I don’t expect her to pay half the down payment or the monthly payments since she isn’t working, if she wants to be on the deed of the new house, she needs to use some of her savings. If she wants me to sell my house and cover all the costs while she keeps her savings, then the new house will need to be in my name only.

Now she’s saying I don’t appreciate her role as a mom and even suggested that if I want things to be fair, I should carry and deliver our next baby, which isn’t possible for me as a man. AITA for wanting her to contribute financially to the new house if she wants her name on the deed.

Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments AITA for Thinking About Keeping My Wife Off the House Deed.

EmpiricalRutabaga writes:

NTA, it sounds like she’s trying to set things up so she can claim half the house in a divorce.

You should get legal advice for your state on whether the new house would become part of the “marital estate” if you do buy a new one. In some states, your premarital assets such as your existing home would not be part of the marital estate and would not be divided at divorce.

lakas76 writes:

Unless you have a prenup, and are in the us, she would be entitled to half of the house if she is on the deed or not, or at least the increase in equity over your down payment on the house (buy 600k house, put 100k down from sale of old house, sell for 1 million, she would get half of profit from sale minus 100k).

If you want the house to be in your name only and not have to give her part of it when she decided to divorce you, you should get a postnup. Sounds like you already have money issues in a very young marriage.

maxxxalex writes:

NTA. She wants to keep her cake and eat yours too.

Don’t sell or move out of your house. I would stay put for another 2-3 years and see how things go relationship wise. Even if she decides to sell hers or contribute equitably to the down payment for a new house it seems like she isn’t invested in this relationship.

Lucky_Platypus341 writes: