AITA for Telling My Kids About My Inheritance and Not Using It to Pay Off Their Debt?

AITA for Telling My Kids About My Inheritance and Not Using It to Pay Off Their Debt? For those wondering why I don’t just give them their inheritance now, the answer is simple: I’m still alive. I can’t sell my current home and give them the proceeds because I need a place to live. I can’t deplete my retirement fund either, as I need it to support myself in my later years.

I have three children, all of whom decided to attend expensive colleges. From the start, I made it clear to them that while I would support them by covering the costs of their books and providing money for their meal plans, they would be responsible for paying their tuition fees. This arrangement was understood and accepted by all of them before they embarked on their college journeys.

My youngest child took a more frugal approach to education by attending community college for a period, which significantly helped in reducing expenses. This sensible decision allowed them to save a substantial amount of money compared to their siblings.

On the other hand, my two older children chose not to pursue any cost-saving measures. They attended four-year institutions without taking steps to minimize their expenses, which led to a much higher financial burden. As a result, they all graduated with significant amounts of debt.

Recently, a significant event occurred in our family: my mother passed away. In her will, she left me her house, a gesture that was deeply meaningful to me. The house, located in a desirable area, is valued at approximately $500,000. After careful consideration, I decided that selling the house would be the best course of action.

I plan to use a portion of the proceeds from the sale to fund a much-needed and long-dreamt-of substantial vacation. The rest of the money would be invested in my retirement fund, ensuring financial security for my future.

Before putting the house on the market, I wanted to give my children the opportunity to see it. The house holds a lot of sentimental value and is situated in a nice area, making it a potentially appealing investment. They visited and admired the property, expressing their appreciation for its charm and location. However, they quickly realized that they could not afford to buy it. When I informed them of my intention to sell the house, their initial surprise soon turned into dismay.

They began to argue that given the significant amount of money I would gain from the sale, I should use it to help them pay off their substantial college debt. They felt that since I was coming into a considerable sum of money, it was only fair that I assist them in clearing their financial burdens. They believed that this inheritance should be used for their benefit as well.

I listened to their concerns but ultimately decided to stand firm in my decision. Paying off their collective debt would consume three-quarters of my inheritance, leaving me with far less than what I needed for my plans and security. I explained to them that this inheritance was left to me by their grandmother, who wanted me to have this financial cushion. It was her wish that I use the money in a way that would benefit me directly.

The argument escalated, with emotions running high on both sides. My children insisted more vehemently that I should use the money to settle their debts, expressing their frustrations and financial worries. Despite their pleas and the pressure they exerted, I held my ground. I reiterated that they would have their inheritance from me when the time came, but for now, the money was intended for my use. It was crucial for me to ensure my financial stability and to honor my mother’s wishes.

In the end, I reminded them that this was a matter of my future and well-being. The inheritance was meant to provide for me, and I had plans and needs that required financial support. While I understood their perspective and empathized with their struggles, I needed to prioritize my financial health and respect the intent behind my mother’s gift. The decision was not an easy one, but it was necessary for my peace of mind and security.

More info: Reddit

AITA for Telling My Kids About My Inheritance and Not Using It to Pay Off Their Debt?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Telling My Kids About My Inheritance and Not Using It to Pay Off Their Debt?

mdthomas writes:

If your mother wanted them to have money, she would have put it in her will.

You told them that they would have to pay for their own tuition.

They are adults. You provided for then when they are children, but they chose to attend their schools and accepted that it would put them in debt.

lostalldoubt86 writes:

INFO- How old are your kids? I am nearly 40 and grew up in a time when college was pushed heavily on students and student loans were seen as a must.

As a teacher I see the expectations have shifted for students. I’m not sure if this is true of all schools, but the school I work in pushes for students to take on an apprenticeships for the trades or start out in community college.

At the end of the day, it is your money and you made it clear to your children that higher education was their responsibility. But I also remember not getting much information on alternatives to going straight into debt from a 4-year school in order to be successful.

Foreign-Cow-1189  writes:

Anyone I’ve ever known who has “borrowed against their inheritance” or somehow got it early has led a financially irresponsible life. This isn’t some kind of emergency. They just want to make their life easier with your money. Follow your mother’s wishes and enjoy your retirement.

Diasies_inMyHair writes:

\Getting Old is EXPENSIVE (I’m currently watching my In-Laws come to the realization that their net worth will only cover 3.5 years in a decent assisten living facility, never mind a good Memory Care home & their current living situation is fast becoming unsustainable). You are going to NEED that money!!

Tell your children exactly that! It would not be fair to expect them to take care of you in your old age, and you don’t want to end up in a facility that accepts medicare alone. This inheritance is part of your Retirement Plan. If there’s anything left when you pass on, they should consider themselves lucky.