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Am I the Asshole for Seeking a Divorce Over My Husband’s Contact with Someone I Asked Him to Avoid at Work? A wife (29F) is facing a tough situation with her husband (29M), who has reconnected with a former coworker tied to his past cocaine addiction. Even though she has stood by him through his recovery and forgiven him for past mistakes, she still struggles with reminders of that painful time.
When they started a new job together and bumped into this coworker, the wife asked her husband to avoid contact with him because it triggered her emotional distress. But her husband brushed off her request, telling her to move on from the past.
This disregard for her feelings and boundaries became a breaking point for her. Feeling unsupported and hurt, she decided to file for divorce. She believes her request was fair, given their history and her ongoing struggle with trust and trauma related to his addiction.
Her husband, on the other hand, thinks she’s overreacting and blames her for the situation.
The key issue is whether her need for boundaries and emotional support is justified, and what this situation says about forgiveness, trust, and how addiction has impacted their relationship.
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Am I the Asshole for Seeking a Divorce Over My Husband’s Contact with Someone I Asked Him to Avoid at Work?
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A wife (29F) is struggling with her husband’s (29M) reconnection with a former coworker linked to his past cocaine addiction. Despite her support during his recovery and forgiveness for past mistakes, she is still deeply affected by reminders of that difficult period. When they started a new job together and encountered the coworker, the wife asked her husband to avoid contact with him because it caused her emotional distress.
Her husband dismissed her request and told her to move on from the past. This disregard for her feelings led her to seek a divorce, feeling unsupported and misunderstood. She believes her request was reasonable, given their history and her ongoing struggles with trust and trauma. Her husband views her decision as an overreaction and blames her for the situation. The situation raises questions about the need for boundaries and emotional support, and what it reveals about forgiveness, trust, and the impact of addiction on their relationship.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: Am I the Asshole for Seeking a Divorce Over My Husband’s Contact with Someone I Asked Him to Avoid at Work?
BeardManMichael writes:
NTA
You need to keep your finances safe and your boundaries intact. It seems like your husband does not understand either of those factors.
If he is unwilling to prioritize your wishes ahead of this toxic friend, then you should just consider a following through with your divorce threats.
If you don’t trust him enough to NOT fall back down that awful rabbit hole, you should again follow through with those divorce threats.
If he keeps being dismissive of your feelings, you should just follow through with those divorce threats.
tuna_tofu writes:
NTA-Id help you pack if I could. Just make sure he has no access to money and doesnt socialize with people you dont know (or when you arent present). Make any visitation dependent on clean drug tests and make sure he continues to pay child support. If he can afford to party, he can afford to support his kid.
MissMurderpants writes:
NTA
I’d put my money in a safe place he couldn’t get his mitts on.
Go see a lawyer first.
OlderMan42 writes:
He can’t see things your way?
Then he is hiding something and in denial about what an absolute disaster his cocaine use was and how it hurt his family.
He is abusive. You have done your level best but he is not coming clean.
Medical_Gate_5721 writes:
“I am not willing to move on and forget what cocaine put our family through. I am not doing it again. Frank is absolutely going to trigger your addiction. And you pretending not to see that is your addiction bullshitting you and trying to bullshit me. No. You may not go down that path with a wife and children. You can do it single. It’s your life. But it sure as fuck isn’t mine. Figure out how to avoid Frank and cocaine or give me a heads up and we’ll separate. Those are the options. Bullshitting me about the past is not one of those options. You get one pass in this relationship and you used it the fuck up.”
