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AITA for Sabotaging My Husband Tournament Over Newborn Help? My husband Jake (30M) and I (27F) recently welcomed our first child, Emma, who’s now three months old. Navigating the sleepless nights and constant diaper changes has been challenging. I’m on maternity leave and with Emma all day, but I’m finding it difficult to get Jake’s help, particularly at night.
Jake works from home and is deeply immersed in gaming, spending most of his free time online with friends. Despite my efforts to be understanding, it’s been tough because he refuses to assist with nighttime responsibilities. I’ve asked him several times to share the load, but he always says he’s too tired or busy with a crucial game.
Breastfeeding has been particularly tough for me. Emma struggles with latching, resulting in cracked nipples and two bouts of mastitis, which leave me feverish and in significant pain. Even though Jake sees my struggle, he finds it amusing and never steps in to help, even when I’m clearly in distress.
One night, after being up with Emma for the third time while Jake was engrossed in his game, I reached my breaking point. I asked him to take over so I could sleep, but he dismissed me, saying he was in the middle of a game and I should handle it. He even told me, “You’re on maternity leave, so you’re free all day. I need my downtime, and you’re just sitting around.”
In a moment of frustration, I turned off the Wi-Fi to get his attention. This led to a major blow-up. Jake stormed out, furious because he and his friends were in the middle of an online tournament. He accused me of sabotaging his relaxation and called me selfish and irresponsible.
Jake also brought up that we’ve only been intimate four times since Emma was born and said I’m trying to take everything away from him while doing nothing all day.
Jake doesn’t help out after work either. Once he’s done with his job, he heads straight back to gaming, leaving me to handle everything.
Since then, Jake has been sulking, and his friends have bombarded me with nasty messages, calling me a “crazy wife” and saying I’m unreasonable. One even suggested that Jake should leave me because I’m “too demanding.”
I’m feeling overwhelmed and just wanted Jake to step up as a parent. Now, I’m being painted as the villain for asking for help with our newborn.
For those questioning why I married Jake and didn’t anticipate this, he was supportive and caring before Emma was born. His current behavior is a new and distressing development.
To those who think I’m in the wrong, I’m deeply hurt. I didn’t turn off the Wi-Fi out of spite but out of desperation after feeling completely unsupported. I’m overwhelmed with exhaustion and pain from breastfeeding. I just wanted Jake to share the parenting responsibilities, especially during those challenging late-night hours.
Some have suggested I’m exaggerating breastfeeding issues, but mastitis is incredibly painful. Sometimes, the pain is so severe I cry silently while feeding Emma. I don’t expect Jake to breastfeed, but I do need his support during these difficult moments. He’s never offered to help when I’m in tears, and I’m struggling to manage everything on my own.
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AITA for Sabotaging My Husband Tournament Over Newborn Help?
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After the birth of their first child, Emma, the couple faced significant challenges. The wife, currently on maternity leave, is overwhelmed with the demands of caring for their three-month-old baby. She has struggled with painful breastfeeding issues, including cracked nipples and mastitis, and is in constant need of support, particularly during the night.
Her husband, Jake, who works from home and is deeply involved in online gaming, has been largely unresponsive to her requests for help. Despite several pleas to take turns with nighttime duties, Jake often dismisses her, claiming he’s too tired or busy with important games. He even suggested that since she is at home all day, he deserves his downtime without interruption.
One night, after being up with the baby multiple times while Jake continued to game, the wife, exhausted and desperate for rest, turned off the Wi-Fi in an attempt to get Jake’s attention. This led to a heated confrontation where Jake accused her of sabotaging his relaxation and being selfish. He also criticized her for their limited intimacy since the baby’s birth and claimed she was trying to take everything away from him while doing nothing herself.
Jake’s response to her actions has included sulking and receiving angry messages from his friends, who label her as unreasonable and demanding. The wife feels that her attempt to address the imbalance in their parenting responsibilities has made her appear as the villain in the situation.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Sabotaging My Husband Tournament Over Newborn Help?
As soon as he brought up the lack of sex it showed who he was. If you told him that you wanted sex he would stop gaming when he came home. This has to do with you not catering to his “needs”. You need to really think about if you want your daughter to be raised in a house where her father treats her mother badly. Remember that kids learn what is acceptable behavior in relationships by watching what their parents do. Is this the kind of relationship that you would want your daughter to have?
He laughed about her mastitis pain. He not only doesn’t care about her and her body, he enjoys her pain. No wonder he wants sex now when it might hurt her.
emmaconda Writes:
He probably doesn’t care enough to even know what his wife’s body has been through. Complaining about sex while her uterus is healing a large open wound as well as shrinking, not to mention vaginal or c section healing and the pain of breastfeeding, is just pathetic. Plus the possible birth trauma or disconnect of one’s self after the hormonal and physical changes after literally growing a human being inside her body then delivering it. What a loser!
Girl, I’m 4 years on and still get pain from my stiches sometimes. Childbirth is not a beautiful walk in the park as others try to make it seem.
Oh, absolutely. She is trying to learn how to nurse a newborn and it is still not going well after three months. Her hormones are a mess and her husband is a complete asshole. Yeah, there is no physical urge for sex that she is ever going to have that will outweigh the fact that he treats her like this.
MEN: Women don’t want to have sex with you merely for sexual gratification. We need to feel that connection with you. If you want your wife to desire you, treat her right.
