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I’m a 28-year-old woman engaged to my 27-year-old fiancé. We met in college, started dating after graduation, and have been together for two years. My fiancé wasn’t close to his family growing up and still harbors resentment towards them for a lack of emotional support, though they provided for his basic needs. I’ve only met his parents a few times.
A few months ago, my fiancé received a terminal diagnosis with an estimated two years to live. Since then, we’ve been trying to live life to the fullest. This diagnosis has brought him closer to his family, leading to more frequent visits.
His wealthy family gifted us a honeymoon as a wedding present, and we chose Puerto Vallarta for a relaxing resort vacation and snorkeling, a special trip on our bucket list.
However, his parents decided on the dates for the honeymoon without consulting us. They scheduled it to include his birthday and announced they wanted to join us to celebrate his last birthday together. They booked their suite at the resort, with his siblings also getting rooms there.
While I appreciate their generosity, I’m frustrated that they chose to join our honeymoon. My fiancé doesn’t want to address this with them to avoid conflicts during his remaining time, which I understand. I just wish they had arranged a separate family trip instead of encroaching on what was supposed to be our private honeymoon.
Between his medical appointments, spending time with friends, and fulfilling his bucket list, we rarely get time alone together. Money isn’t an issue for his family, so they could have easily planned a different trip. When they informed us of their plans to join, I expressed that it felt unusual, and now they’re upset with me.
They argue it’s crucial to spend his birthday with him and think I’m wrong for feeling upset. They assure me we won’t see them much, but given that we’re staying at the same resort with rooms next to each other, I doubt that.
So, am I wrong for telling my in-laws that it’s odd they’re coming on our honeymoon?
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Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for not wanting my in-laws to be part of my honeymoon?
NAH. This situation is not the typical honeymoon situation.
I think it’s understandable that you’re annoyed but it’s also understandable that his family would want to make some great memories with him before they lose him.
The worst thing that could happen would be for your husband to have to witness you and his family fight over him and how distressing that would be for him. Those aren’t the kind of memories anyone wants to be making.
I agree with this whole comment but they’re still AHs for not being clear and upfront. Don’t pretend it’s a honeymoon and then invite yourself alone. They should have said they wanted to pay for a nice holiday one last time and they would come along in their own room, too. Presumably their intentions are to spend time with their son before he passes away, but it was rude to fake out a honeymoon and then be like, just kidding we’ll be there, too.
Here’s a hot take: this is a vacation. Treat it as such. If they’re paying, great. Enjoy it. Then go on your own honeymoon with just your spouse. Overall while it’s a weird situation, I get that they’re desperate to squeeze out every last enjoyable second they can before they lose their child. NAH
