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AITA for Not Waiving Alimony Even Though My Ex Has Cancer? I (52F) divorced my ex-husband (56M) because of his infidelity. He’s now married to his affair partner, a 20-year-old who was working as a prostitute. According to our prenuptial agreement, I’m entitled to alimony because I was a stay-at-home mom throughout our marriage and took care of our three daughters.
Even after the divorce, we kept a friendly co-parenting relationship, and he has always paid the alimony as agreed. My daughters, who were hurt at first, have forgiven him and now frequently make TikToks with his new wife.
Recently, my ex was diagnosed with early-stage thyroid cancer. While it’s treatable and not life-threatening, he and his wife are struggling financially due to his recent spending and new business ventures. They’ve asked me to temporarily waive my alimony payments to help cover his medical expenses.
I said no because they live in a multi-million-dollar house and his wife spends on designer clothes and cosmetic procedures. I think they should downsize their lifestyle to manage their costs. They’ve been persistently asking me, even involving my daughters in the discussion. My ex has called me heartless and claimed he would have helped me if I were in a tough spot.
Am I wrong for refusing to waive my alimony payments?
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AITA for Not Waiving Alimony Even Though My Ex Has Cancer?
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After my divorce from my ex-husband due to his infidelity, he married his affair partner, a 20-year-old who used to be a prostitute. Our prenuptial agreement entitles me to alimony since I was a stay-at-home mom throughout our marriage, raising our three daughters.
Even though our marriage ended, we’ve kept things amicable for the sake of co-parenting, and he has always paid the agreed-upon alimony. My daughters, who were hurt initially, have forgiven him and now make TikToks with his new wife.
Recently, my ex-husband was diagnosed with early-stage thyroid cancer. It’s a manageable condition, but he and his wife are facing financial strain due to his recent spending and new business. They’ve asked me to temporarily waive my alimony payments to help with his medical expenses.
I refused their request, pointing out that they live in a luxurious home and his wife enjoys designer clothes and cosmetic procedures. I believe they should scale back their lifestyle to cover their costs. Despite this, they keep pressuring me, even involving my daughters in the discussions. My ex has called me coldhearted, insisting he would have helped me in a similar situation.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Not Waiving Alimony Even Though My Ex Has Cancer?
More_Comment4690 Writes:
Op your amazing ❤️❤️ your daughters I hope are proud of you. And I hope you have someone special that treats you so much better than that disgusting ex of yours. You keep getting that alimony and tell them to go get a job!
You sound like you have a really sharp head on your shoulders and good on you for making sure provision were made to protect yourself. I personally will hopefully never understand why human beings do shit like this to each other.
If he needs money to pay for his medical bills then its either time for wifey to go hit the streets again or he needs to liquidate assets and downsize. Fuck him.
ThrowRATwist8921 Writes:
It was a requirement when I married him and when he said he wanted me to be a SAHM when we had children.
I am grateful for younger me for having the sense to do that even when I was blinded by love for him.
I was smarter than him. I was ranked higher, I had a better job, a faster promotion. Maybe he was jealous or maybe he did think a wife was best suited to stay at home and raise children.
He begged me to be an SAHM. And I fell for the lie that is being a SAHM because I thought he loved me.
There are no societal obligations towards parents who stay at home. People only respect money. People will sneer at you because you sacrificed money for love.
Careers build and build and build. A 25 year old with 5 years of experience will earn less than a 50 year with 25 years. You can’t get those years back. And a 25 year old with 5 years of experience is more attractive than a 50 year old with 5 years of experience. There will always be that penalty.
It exists for women because they stay at home more often. But for the men they become SAHD, they will have a similar experience.
The S&P500 has an average interest rate of 8%. $10,000 becomes $45,000 after 20 years. And you never get a chance to build that first $10,000.
I do everything for this man for 20 fucking years from washing his dirty underwear to signing him up for his yearly benefits at his job and I forgo hundreds of thousands of dollars I would have earned and the 20 years of experience I would have had because of love. And I would have gotten jack shit had I not protected myself.
He wanted our daughters so much. But he never had to call out of work because he had to take our kid to a doctor’s appointment. He never had to drive them to competitions across the nation so they could get into good colleges. Never had to think about cooking, never had to wash his laundry, never had to shop for groceries or clean his car or buy his suits for a work conference.
And he cheats on me with a prostitute because he can pay her that he would not want his wife to do.
I got a masters degree after the divorce. When I applied for jobs I quickly learned to disguise my age because they do not want to hire professionals who have been SAH parents. Job hopping was the best thing I did for myself. They don’t want to hire people who have been caregivers of disabled siblings or elderly parents. They want people with no experience more than they want people whose unpaid labor pulled them out of the workforce.
Thyroid cancer is EASILY treatable, if there’s no metastasis! Not a death sentence – actually considered the most survivable form of the Big C. Unless they have no health insurance?? It sounds like a. Scam to ditch the alimony
Tell them to have her go back to hooking if they need more $.
Don’t let them miss even one payment or you will never see another dime from him, no matter where his health goes from here. If they blew their money like fools, that’s not your problem to fix. You earned the alimony.
