Skip to content 
AITA for not helping my younger sister just because she has Cancer? My father is a Pacific Islander, and my mother is white. My sister (14) and I (17) were both born in the US. When our parents divorced, I was around six. I lived with my dad until I was 11, while my sister stayed with my mom. I now live with my mom because my dad wanted to move back to the islands, but I chose to remain here with my friends. I stay connected to my heritage mainly through my dad’s side of the family, which my sister doesn’t.
Recently, my sister was diagnosed with sarcoma, a type of bone and tissue cancer. She’s undergone numerous procedures and spent a lot of time in the hospital. I’ve been there to support her as much as I can, though it’s been challenging. Initially, my mom expected me to drop everything school, and activities to be at the hospital whenever my sister was there, which I did, despite it being tough.
The doctors have now decided to start chemotherapy, and my sister’s hair has begun to fall out. She chose to shave it off but was very upset because she loved her hair. Recently, my mom suggested that I shave my long hair (which reaches below my butt) to make a wig for my sister. According to our family tradition on my dad’s side, we only cut our hair when a family member dies, and I’ve been growing my hair since childhood.
I explained to my mom and sister why I didn’t want to shave my hair. They insisted that I should, claiming the tradition doesn’t matter in this situation, especially since my sister might not survive. I firmly refused, but they continued to pressure me, with my sister even begging. I reiterated my reasons and expressed that their requests were hurtful.
Now, my sister is upset and accusing me of not caring about her struggle and being unsupportive. I’ve done a lot to help her, so her reaction is painful. She has never asked me for anything like this before, and while I understand her distress, I’m not willing to cut my hair.
So, am I in the wrong for refusing to shave my hair despite my sister’s request?
Read more: Reddit
AITA for not helping my younger sister just because she has Cancer?
I’m “blessed” with thick wavy hair that grows really quickly: I shaved my head 12 months ago and it’s now past my shoulders. I hate having long hair though, it annoys me. So I like to donate it so that someone else can appreciate it. The first time was scary, it was waist-length and looked beautiful but I just snapped and wanted it gone. Win/win, I felt more comfortable and someone got a nice wig
My husband has luxurious black curly hair. He is a professional and three times he has grown out his hair to his waist for LOCKS OF LOVE. This hair has never been colored or highlighted and the process can take 6-9 months for each wig to be made.
OP, please don’t allow anyone to bully you. Hold your ground. This is your beautiful hair. You get to choose. I am sorry for your sister (and your mom), however, this is not acceptable. If you feel uneasy, perhaps some calls to your dad might be to gain her perspective and solidify your decision. Here’s wishing you all the best. NTA
FireBallXLV Writes:
NTA.Do not let them bully you OP. And stop missing school for your sister. Your Mom and Sister are asking too much. Anytime someone asks you to sacrifice something to prove your love that is a step too far. A decision to sacrifice anything should come originally from YOUR heart —NOT their lips.
