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AITA for Not Appreciating My Husband Love for Films? The husband felt frustrated every time his wife asked why widescreen movies had black bars on their standard TV. No matter how many times he explained it, she never seemed to understand. When TVs switched to a 16:9 aspect ratio, he thought the problem was finally solved.
However, during a gathering with friends, a widescreen movie led to the same old question from his wife about the black bars. Her friends tried to explain, even using drawings, while the husband stayed quiet, tired of going over it again and again.
Back at home, his wife was upset, feeling embarrassed and accusing him of not supporting her. He defended himself, reminding her of the countless times he had explained it before. To help her remember, he even recreated their old trick of covering the TV sides.
The husband, feeling justified in his frustration, wondered if he could have handled the situation better. He thought he had thoroughly addressed the issue, and his decision to stay silent during the gathering left his wife feeling humiliated.
Their conflict was about communication and understanding. The husband’s frustration came from his belief that he had already solved the problem, while the wife’s embarrassment showed a gap in their communication. Both needed to find a way to bridge this gap and support each other better.
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I work in an animal hospital and have done so for fifteen years. Sometimes I’ve drawn the short straw and had to work holidays when we were closed. I’ve had to explain, over and over and over to my mother that the hospital being closed does not mean there aren’t patients that need care. For ten years I had to repeat myself every time I worked a holiday and for ten years my mother acted like this was the first time I’ve told her. I threw in the towel five years ago. Any time the topic comes up I flat out tell her I’m not explaining this again and forcibly change the subject.
Her refusal to understand simple facts is not on me, your wife’s refusal to do the same isn’t your fault either, NTA.
NTA. But do get your wife medically mentally evaluated. The black bars were something I understood as a 7 year old.
As a kid, I took a movie to my friend’s house. The beginning had the black bars. Her father made her fast forward past that part because he thought it would break the TV. Nobody would listen to me that it couldn’t do that.
NTA – uhm OP. If you’re serious about the construction paper thing… I don’t think I need to say more there.
You’ve explained it to her before. I can’t believe I have to say this but if she didn’t get it after the many times you explained that…then I can’t fault you there.
Is she ok…?
eilonwyhasemu writes:
NTA. When people keep forgetting a concept after I’ve explained it multiple times, I deliberately sit back and let others explain it to them. My hope is that if it comes from someone else, maybe that person will explain it better or have more credibility.
NTA. my mother does this and she always has, so it’s not an age thing. i have come to realize that the real issue is not that she doesn’t understand after multiple explanations on whatever the recurring issue is; it’s that she doesnt WANT it to be that way and that’s just her way of complaining. instead of explaining for the millionth time, I just say “sorry that bothers you” and move on.
