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My husband gave me a warning tap and I called it abuse. AITAH? As I write this, I’m lying in bed with my mom, who’s helping me think things through.
I’m a 24-year-old woman, and my husband is 30. We’ve been together for three years and married for one. I’m using this anonymous account for privacy.
About a week ago, my husband and I had a serious argument over his lost phone. I was in the shower when he misplaced it, and when I came out, he was in a rage, shouting, “Where did you put it? Have you seen it?”
I told him I hadn’t seen it and needed to get dressed. He was blocking the door, so I asked him to move. He took my tone as disrespectful and shoved me into the room. I told him to calm down and said I’d help find the phone once I was dressed. He insisted I hurry, and I snapped back, “I’m not going to hurry; it’s not my fault!”
He then hit me on the mouth with the back of his hand. It didn’t hurt much, but I was stunned.
He called it a “warning tap” due to my “attitude.” I left immediately, went to my mom’s place, and haven’t returned. The next day, my brother helped me gather some things from our home. When my husband questioned if my response was really necessary, I told him it was because he had abused me.
He was furious and said that calling it abuse could damage his career. He’s sent me several texts threatening divorce if I use that word again or if I mention it to anyone important. I know he didn’t seriously hurt me, but that’s how I feel. Am I wrong for calling it abuse and potentially jeopardizing his career?
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My husband gave me a warning tap and I called it abuse. AITAH
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As I write this, I’m lying in bed with my mom, who’s helping me sort through my thoughts.
I’m a 24-year-old woman, and my husband is 30. We’ve been together for three years and married for one. I’m using this anonymous account for privacy.
About a week ago, my husband and I had a heated argument about his misplaced phone. I was in the shower when he lost it, and when I came out, he was having a meltdown. He was shouting, “Where did you put it? Have you seen it?”
I told him I hadn’t touched it and needed to get dressed. He was blocking the door, so I asked him to move. My tone upset him, and he shoved me into the room. I told him he needed to calm down and that I’d help look for the phone once I was dressed. He told me to hurry, and I snapped back, “I’m not going to hurry; it’s not my fault!”
In response, my husband hit me on the mouth with the back of his hand. It didn’t hurt, but I was shocked.
He called it a “warning tap” because of my “attitude.” I left immediately, called my mom, and went to her place. The next day, my brother helped me return home to gather some belongings. When my husband asked if this was necessary, I told him it was because he had abused me.
He was deeply upset by my use of the word “abuse” and yelled at me, saying it could harm his career. He’s since sent me multiple texts threatening divorce if I use that word again or try to damage his career. I understand he didn’t cause me physical harm, but that’s how I feel. Am I wrong for calling it abuse and potentially risking his career?
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