AITA for Being Insecure About My Husband’s Relationship with His Ex-Wife?

AITA for Being Insecure About My Husband’s Relationship with His Ex-Wife? I’m a 40-year-old woman married to a 50-year-old man. Our relationship began under difficult circumstances as an affair, and I acknowledge the wrongdoing.

At the time, my husband was in the process of ending his marriage. When his ex-wife (48) discovered our relationship, she responded with surprising calmness.

She asked me if I truly loved him, and I confirmed. She then requested that if I were to be part of his life, I should respect her children (19F, 16M, and 14F) and not force them to accept me. Throughout the divorce, she remained composed and avoided causing additional issues.

My husband faced severe criticism from his family and friends, with his parents nearly disowning him. His ex played a significant role in persuading them to reconcile, which led to eventual forgiveness from his parents. Despite this, I still feel like an outsider within his family, though they have a fondness for our child (4M).

Adding complexity to the situation is how gracious and understanding his ex-wife has been. She has never held a grudge against me and has consistently encouraged her children to maintain a relationship with their father, even though the eldest daughter has chosen not to communicate with him. This estrangement affects my husband deeply. Her other children civilly interact with me but do not show affection. She has never spoken negatively about me or labeled me as a homewrecker.

Complicating matters further, she is now in a relationship with my cousin (45M). My family has grown to like her; my parents, uncle, aunt, and my cousin’s children all hold her in high regard. She treats her children and mine equally, often sending extra food or treats for my son during their visitations. She has also met my son and treats him with kindness.

I have long wondered about her behavior. I even asked her why she did not harbor any animosity toward me, given our past. She explained that holding onto hatred would not alter the outcome of her marriage. I envy her, not just because of her beauty and grace, but also because I feel I can never truly match her, despite taking her place in her ex-husband’s life.

I understand that my situation might draw criticism, and I am aware of my role in the breakdown of a marriage. I quickly wrote this post and made some typographical errors, which I’ve corrected to clarify my situation. I am dealing with some challenges, partly due to my husband, which I plan to discuss in the future. I admire her and appreciate the absence of ongoing drama. Her presence makes me feel insecure as I search for flaws in her.

My cousin and I met about a year ago when she dropped off my child, leading to their relationship. She occasionally invites my son to her home. This post was not written by her; she is not active on social media.

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AITA for Being Insecure About My Husband’s Relationship with His Ex-Wife?

 

 

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Putrid-Ad-3965 writes:

Right! I know a woman who I adore the same way. I’ve known this person since I was 14 years old and she is just the most beautiful human of all time. She’s genuinely so kind and sweet and thoughtful and I’m super grateful and proud to be her friend, I love her and her husband, I would trust them with my life. Those people are rare and specia.

 

Able-Strength8308l Writes:

 

You know that saying…kill you with kindness….looolll…ex wife has done nothing but be nice ta this lady and its killing her…best revenge ever….ex wife is a lady i aspire to be like if i was in that situation.

 

Blade_982 Writes: