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AITA for criticizing my girlfriend approach to job interviews? My girlfriend is looking for a new job because we’re moving to another state, and her current job isn’t remote. Her first interview was with a big company that found her on LinkedIn. I thought she’d handle it like a normal interview, but instead, she spent an hour asking tough questions about the company’s engineering practices and then decided to withdraw her application.
Since then, she’s done the same thing with other companies. She’s asked hard questions and then turned down four out of six companies. I told her I thought being so critical might hurt her reputation and she might be damaging her career by ending interviews early.
She argued that she was not making enemies; the companies she rejected kept reaching out to her, wanting more interviews or to discuss her decision. She thinks this shows her value in the job market.
I’m worried that her approach might hurt her long-term reputation, even if it’s working for now. She says it’s not a power play but a way to avoid wasting time.
In one interview, she heard about an incident where the interviewer’s team fell off a barge into a river while working. My girlfriend laughed but then said it was unacceptable they weren’t safe and withdrew her application immediately.
Afterward, she said that listening to these stories helps her figure out if a company is worth her time. I felt she ended the call too quickly without seeing if the company had made changes and wondered if she was just delaying her job search.
She says this is normal for her level in her field and that companies should be as careful about who they hire as she is about who she works for. I disagreed and said she might be hurting her chances, which led to a big argument. She accused me of not understanding her career.
So, AITA for questioning her approach to job interviews?
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It sounds like you’re concerned that your girlfriend’s approach to job interviews might be too rigorous and could potentially harm her prospects, especially with the added pressure of your upcoming move. On the other hand, she seems confident in her ability to assess whether a company is a good fit and believes her method is appropriate for someone at her level in her field.
Understandably, you’re worried about the move and how this might affect your plans together. However, it’s also important to recognize that her job search is a reflection of her professional standards and values. She likely wants to ensure she’s entering a work environment that aligns with her principles and career goals.
It might help to have a conversation where you both acknowledge each other’s perspectives without judgment. Express your concerns calmly, and ask her to share more about her approach so you can better understand her reasoning. This could help you both feel more aligned as you navigate this transition together.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for criticizing my girlfriend approach to job interviews?
YTA. Stop mansplaining how to interview for a job that you do not do and in a field you do not know.
It isn’t an issue until it becomes an issue.
Yes, I am assuming OPs sex.
ETA: Thank you for the awards kind people
YTA. Are you a recruiter? Are you a professional in her field? Have you listened to professionals in her field interview? No? Are you basing this on your own interview experience in your own field? Yes? Quit mansplaining.
YTA. Not only does her approach work for her, she’s being selective about taking the role that’s the right fit for her at the right price, and that’s the best thing you can do in a job search. You are giving her terrible advice and you really need to stop before she decides that you are telling on yourself and dumps you.
If you are going on interviews and not viewing the process as you also assessing them, you’re doing it wrong.
Amethyst-talon91 writes:
YTA do you work in her field at her level? If not mind your business. I hate when my husband tries to tell me how to handle or do my job. He finally learned to let me handle MY job. You don’t get to tell her how to pick her place to work and it isn’t your place to. Stop spying on her interviews.
YTA. It sounds like your gf knows her worth and isn’t willing to just take any old job which is honestly how the job market is right now. Stay in your own lane and let her make the decisions concerning her care
