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AITA for confronting my stepdad who stole my identity and spat on me? I hadn’t checked my credit score since I got a credit card in 2021, when it was at 745. However, when I went to buy my first car in April, I was stunned to see it had dropped to 541. This didn’t make sense to me because I rarely used the card and always paid it off completely and on time.
I decided to postpone the car purchase and investigated my credit report, where I discovered two unfamiliar credit cards in my name. Both were nearly maxed out with around 15 late payments combined. When I asked my mom and stepdad about it, my stepdad admitted he had opened the accounts while I was in college because I had stopped paying rent after moving out. During high school and my first two years of college, I had paid $500 a month in rent, but I stopped once I moved out.
Our conversation quickly turned into an argument, and he claimed I owed him for the years I didn’t pay rent (from 8th to 12th grade) and told me to forget about it.
When I told him he couldn’t do that without my consent, he spat in my face. I was heartbroken and left in tears. My mom later called to apologize and mentioned that he had a similar experience in the past, though she acknowledged this didn’t justify his actions. I told her I was considering filing a police report, and she suggested I think it over carefully before proceeding.
After hanging up, I wished I had found out about these accounts earlier. I’m still considering reporting him to the police but am wondering if there might be another way to resolve this situation.
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AITA for confronting my stepdad who stole my identity and spat on me?
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I hadn’t kept a close watch on my credit score since I first got my card in 2021, where it had been a solid 745. However, when I tried to buy my first car in April, I was stunned to find it had dropped to 541. This was confusing because I barely used the card and always paid the balance in full and on time.
I postponed buying the car and investigated my credit report, only to discover two unfamiliar credit cards in my name. Both were almost maxed out and had around 15 late payments combined. When I confronted my mom and stepdad about it, my stepdad admitted he had opened these accounts while I was in college because I had stopped paying rent after moving out. I had paid $500 a month in rent during high school and my first two college years, but I stopped when I moved out.
Our discussion turned into a heated argument. He claimed I owed him for the rent I didn’t pay from 8th to 12th grade and told me to forget about it. When I pointed out that he couldn’t do this without my permission, he spat in my face. I was devastated and left in tears. My mom later called to apologize and mentioned that he had faced a similar issue before, though she agreed it didn’t justify his behavior. I told her I was thinking about reporting him to the police, and she suggested I carefully consider my decision.
After hanging up, I regretted not discovering these accounts sooner. I’m still considering reporting him to the police but am unsure if there’s another way to resolve this.
Let’s catch up on the top Comments on the Reddit Posts: AITA for confronting my stepdad who stole my identity and spat on me?
ippa99 Writes:
I had to spend almost two decades repairing the damage my father did and, in the end, my family still thinks I’m selfish for even bringing it up.
This is the most damning part. It was probably a part of the original plan – take advantage of how the family will ostracize you as a shield to pressure you into not going through with it.
Personally, that kind of action taking advantage of people is the most disgusting thing in the world to me, and it should really be used as fuel for going through with it. He had to know that you would deal with a massive amount of fallout if you actually do anything about it or deal with his mess – add that to the pile of things he’s knowingly done to you and use it as motivation to press on.
if you poke around, you’ll see a lot of people who had this response from family members (particularly parents) when they realized that a sibling/parent/grandparent/whoever had stolen their identity.
the family member pushes to not go to the police. but the only way to get this stuff off your credit report is to file a police report.
it doesn’t necessarily mean that your stepfather will go to jail- or even have charges pressed against him. it just means that your credit will be cleared up.
will it impact your relationship with your mother? probably, but that’s her choice. whether you file a police report or not, that ship has sailed.
$10.00 says OPs Mom knew about this all along. She even said he had something like this happen before. And? Apparently he didn’t learn his lesson the first time around. Mom just doesn’t want him to pay the consequences for his actions because those consequences are going to have an impact on her.
Too bad, so sad. OP needs to file that police report so they can get their credit fixed. Let the chips fall where they may. Mom is just as culpable as step-dad is at this point.
The mental gymnastics that idiot performed to justify committing identity theft and ruining OPs credit is something to behold.
Exactly this. I hate to say it but some people need to be made an example of. It’s sad that it’s a family member, but it is completely unacceptable to steal from you, and then commit physical assault when you are trying to work things out and find a peaceful solution.
During the early days of the pandemic, we had a woman in our apartment complex that would randomly spit at/on people who walked on the sidewalk outside her apartment. The police were called several times. Every time they talked to her, she said she would stop but didn’t. The last time she did it, her spit got in a little girl’s eye. She was arrested, when she tested positive for Covid at the jail, she was charged with aggravated battery, assault on a minor, and child endangerment. We moved shortly after, so I don’t really know how things turned out.
