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You and your husband disagreed with something he shared about work. He’s a warehouse manager and recently hired the first female employee for his team, which is usually all men.
During the interview, he mentioned to her that working in a male-dominated environment could come with challenges, like off-color jokes or other uncomfortable situations. He was trying to be honest about the workplace culture while working to improve it.
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You, having worked in male-dominated fields yourself, felt that telling her these things might come across as “mansplaining,” a term used when men explain things to women in a condescending way.
You suggested he could have acknowledged that she might already know what to expect and reassured her that she should speak up if anything crossed the line.
When you used the term “mansplaining,” your husband got very upset. He felt it was a serious insult, comparing it to using a racial slur, which made the argument worse. You didn’t see the term as that offensive and were just trying to help him understand a different perspective.
In the end, it’s clear that your intentions were good, but your husband felt hurt by the words you used. It might help to have another conversation where you both share how you feel, without using any labels, to understand each other better.
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You and your husband argued after he shared something from work. He’s a warehouse manager and recently hired the first female employee for his all-male team. He warned her about potential challenges in a male-dominated environment, trying to be honest while working to improve the culture.
You, having similar work experience, felt he might be “mansplaining” and explaining condescendingly. You suggested he could have acknowledged she might already know what to expect and reassured her to speak up if needed.
When you used the term “mansplaining,” your husband was upset, comparing it to a serious insult. You didn’t mean it that way and just wanted to offer a different perspective.
It might help to have a calm conversation to understand each other’s feelings better, without using any labels.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Calling My Husband a Mansplainer?
I’m female, and I don’t believe that this constitutes as mansplaining. He was concerned about the environment that a female was about to enter. Sure, we’ve all heard stories about how male dominated workplaces are, but culture is very slowly changing. clearly his workplace isn’t, as the jokes etc should of called out before it got to this point. She might not have worked in a solely male workplace, maybe there’s always been 1 or 2 other females paving the way. She might not have the grit to handle it. He was just essentially warning her what may or may not happen
YTA.
Because mansplaining specifically relates to bias towards women it infers prejudice and sexism to whoever you are calling that. Given what else you’ve said about him and the effort he’s putting into levelling the playing field I’m not surprised he’s hurt that his partner in life thinks he is, at least in some small part, a bigot.
This here. OP is projecting her own frustrations onto someone else, and taking it out on her partner. It’s not mansplaining because the potential employee has never worked there, she doesn’t know if it’s like that or not. And if you jump down your partner’s throat for mansplaining every time they talk about conversations like this, either they’ll stop talking to you about them or stop having those conversations with potential employees entirely. Both of which are a loss.
Please stop trying to equate everything to the N word. Don’t think any guys were ever lynched with the last words they heard before they died such a horrendous death being “mansplainer.”
Yeah, another female working in a male dominated industry here and that’s not mansplaning. That’s being a decent dude giving a heads up. Soft YTA on this one.
