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AITA for Calling My Brother a Hypocrite Over My Child Free Wedding Policy? You’re having a child-free wedding this summer, meaning no kids under 13. Your brother Josh, who has 5-year-old twins, is upset because his kids aren’t invited and says it’s selfish of you. He had a child-free wedding too, though.
At a family party, Josh made rude comments about your wedding. When you spoke to him, you said he could come or not, but your decision stands. Josh argued that you’re excluding his kids and they’d love to be flower girls. You called him hypocritical and told him to grow up.
Now your parents are involved. They say they won’t come if Josh doesn’t, and your mum is pressuring you to make an exception for his kids, calling you a narcissist and saying everyone should compromise.
You’re wondering if you’re wrong for sticking to your child-free policy.
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AITA for Calling My Brother a Hypocrite Over My Child Free Wedding Policy?
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You’re having a child-free wedding this summer, so no kids under 13 are invited. Your brother Josh, who has 5-year-old twins, is upset and thinks it’s selfish, even though he had a child-free wedding himself.
At a family party, Josh made rude remarks about your wedding. When you talked to him privately, you told him he could come or not, but the policy wouldn’t change. Josh complained that you’re excluding his kids, who’d love to be flower girls. You called him hypocritical and told him to grow up.
Now your parents are involved. They say they won’t attend if Josh doesn’t, and your mum is urging you to make an exception, calling you a narcissist and insisting on compromise.
You’re questioning if you’re wrong for sticking to your child-free rule.
Let’s quick Catch up: AITA for Calling My Brother a Hypocrite Over My Child Free Wedding Policy?
He hasn’t said that he regrets it. He just told me that was his choice at the time and it was a long time ago.
NTA, Josh is indeed hypocritical (what does he even say about his change in perspective since he got married and had a child-free wedding himself?) and is being strangely petulant and dramatic now. Your mom is also out of line and the remarks about ‘narcissism’ are ridiculous, and it’s so sad that other family members are caving to Josh and choosing sides in a totally unnecessary way. Is Josh out to sabotage your wedding over this? Maybe he needs to hear that that’s what he’s doing. He’s making it all about him and speaking of things that’ll never be forgiven, maybe he needs to know YOU’LL never forgive HIM for ruining your wedding (by causing drama and getting others to boycott on his behalf), all because you’re making the same choice that he made 7 years ago.
Euphoric_Sort_7578 writes:I went to a wedding where the Bride and Groom caved and gave an exception to the Brides brothers two kids.
It was the talking point of the day amongst guests (it didn’t help that the Bride had spent months telling friends how awful the planing of the wedding has been) – how hostile it had been between families during planning because of the brothers demands- how unfair the brother had been – the in laws had faces of thunder all day because of it – everyone there knew the kids were only invited because they had to be, not because the bride and groom wanted them there – some guests were confused why the kids there when it specifically said “no kids” on the invite.
I can’t remember much more of the day because of how horrible the whole planning process had been for the bride and groom and the immediate families attitudes on the day.
If your brother doesn’t attend because his kids aren’t invited people will say its a shame. If his kids are given an invite, then there will be people talking about it all day, especially if you’ve specified on the invite “no kids”
malinagurek writes:I attended a wedding that was initially planned to be childfree but then went the other way, comically so. It seemed the kids outnumbered the adults. It would have been distracting anyway, but knowing the background, there was something sad about it. Agreed with OP that these weddings aren’t fun for the kids anyway. Why all the drama and disrespect towards the marrying couple?
prairiemountainzen writes:NTA. So, Josh is allowed to have a child free wedding, but you’re not allowed to do the exact same thing? Why is that?
Josh is a total hypocrite and causing a completely unnecessary rift, to the point he’s recruiting other family members to help him stir up this drama even further.
Seems less like he’s concerned about his daughters’ feelings and is instead far more concerned in “winning” this argument. You don’t need to accommodate him.
