Skip to content 
AITA for Barring My Late Husband Mistress from His Funeral? Three weeks ago, my husband died in a car accident while he was supposedly on a work trip. We later discovered that he was actually on a cheating trip and had been doing this for at least five years. It’s been really hard for us.
We have three kids: a 7-year-old daughter, a 14-year-old son, and a 19-year-old son. Only our oldest knows about the affair, and we’ve agreed to keep it a secret from the younger ones.
The problem is with his mistress. She wanted to come to the funeral, but I told her it wasn’t a good idea and asked her to respect our privacy. I’m grieving too, but I need to be strong for my kids, especially since our oldest is struggling with anger and sadness. Having her there would just make things more complicated.
Even though I told her not to come, she showed up at the cemetery, standing at a distance but still visible. I asked my brother to ask her to leave quietly to avoid any trouble. Afterward, she sent me a text accusing me of being selfish for keeping her away and saying I denied her a chance to say goodbye.
Her message has been bothering me, and I keep second-guessing myself. I still believe I did the right thing by focusing on my children and avoiding extra drama. She can visit his grave whenever she wants. Was it wrong for me to keep her away from the funeral?
Read more: Reddit
AITA for Barring My Late Husband Mistress from His Funeral?
Want More: Reddit Stories
Three weeks ago, my husband died in a car accident. We later learned he was actually on a cheating trip and had been doing this for five years. It’s been very hard for us. We have three kids: a 7-year-old daughter, a 14-year-old son, and a 19-year-old son. Only our oldest knows about the affair, and we’ve kept it a secret from the younger ones.
The problem is with his mistress. She wanted to come to the funeral, but I told her it wasn’t right and asked her to respect our privacy. I’m grieving too, but I need to be strong for my kids, especially since our oldest is having a hard time with anger and sadness. Her presence would only make things worse.
Even though I asked her not to come, she showed up at the cemetery. She stayed at a distance but was still noticeable. I asked my brother to ask her to leave quietly to avoid any problems. Afterward, she sent me a text saying I was selfish for blocking her and that I denied her the chance to say goodbye.
Her message has been bothering me, and I keep wondering if I did the right thing. I still believe I was right to focus on my kids and avoid extra drama. She can visit his grave whenever she wants, but I’m not sure if I was wrong to keep her away from the funeral.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Barring My Late Husband Mistress from His Funeral?
throw05282021 writes:
NTA.
If she wants to “say goodbye properly” she can pay for a memorial service of her own.
Having an affair with someone who already has a spouse and children has drawbacks. Not being welcome at weddings, funerals, and other family functions is one of them. She can not plausibly claim to be surprised at being asked to leave.
Natural_Garbage7674 writes:
Yeah, except she doesn’t want to say goodbye on her own. She wanted to be publicly acknowledged as important to the deceased because now she’ll never get another chance to butt into the life of the family of her dead, cheater of a partner.
OP, I’m very sorry for your loss, for the betrayal and confusion you must be feeling. Rest assured, you owe her nothing: no closure, no money, no belongings. Cut her out and keep her away from your family.
ColdstreamCapple writes:
NTA
She was playing around knowingly with a married man who had a family and now she has the nerve to call you the selfish one???
No sympathy for her, You do what you need to do to protect your kids and family
Gabbz737 writes:
NTA
This lady needs to know her place. She was a side piece and she needs to stay where she belongs. Your family is grieving. She has no right to destroy that.
