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AITA for Asking My Husband to Stop Eating So Greedily? Last night, my husband (28M) and I (29 F) went to a busy sports bar for dinner. When our appetizer arrived, he grabbed a bunch of chips, loaded them with spinach dip, and shoved the whole thing in his mouth, fingers and all. By the time I had a few chips, the appetizer was gone. I felt embarrassed because people were staring.
I told him I was embarrassed, but he didn’t see the issue. I then said, “You’re acting like you’ve never seen food before.” He got upset and hasn’t spoken to me since.
This isn’t the first time he’s done this, and I’ve talked to him about it before. He says he doesn’t know why he does it, except that he loves the spinach dip. He also eats like this at home, but I don’t mind as much since it’s private.
For context, he didn’t grow up in a food-insecure household, and we’re not struggling now. There’s also no history of eating disorders in his family.
I’ve tried talking to him about it in a nicer way before, and he knows it bothers me. I’m not going to leave him over this, but it’s frustrating. We go to this place often because it’s close to our house and open late when he gets off work. And no, my husband was never in the military.
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AITA for Asking My Husband to Stop Eating So Greedily?
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Last night, my husband (28M) and I (29F) went to a busy sports bar for dinner. When our appetizer arrived, he quickly grabbed a lot of chips, loaded them with spinach dip, and shoved the whole thing into his mouth, fingers and all. Before I could eat much, the entire appetizer was gone. I felt embarrassed because people were staring.
I told him how I felt, but he didn’t see the problem. Frustrated, I said, “You’re acting like you’ve never seen food before.” He got upset and hasn’t spoken to me much since.
This isn’t the first time he’s done this. I’ve tried talking to him about it before, and he says he just really loves the spinach dip. He eats like this at home too, but I don’t mind as much since we’re in private.
For context, he didn’t grow up in a food-insecure household, and we’re not struggling now. There’s also no history of eating disorders in his family. I’m not going to leave him over this, but it’s frustrating.
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i would be grumpy about barely getting any appetizer, like manners aside it’s just rude to hog the whole thing?
i would say NTA – while i am skeptical that people were jaw-dropped staring at him eat, part of being partners is compromising; you don’t mind him eating that way at home, and in return he can be more respectful and display proper etiquette in public settings
NTA… and I would seriously consider filming him to show him how he really acts. Does he not realize what he’s doing? That’s really bizarre, to be shoveling food into his mouth. It’s not like he’s running out the door to be somewhere on time while trying to eat
I was trying to figure out what really bothered me about this situation since I don’t embarass easily and you nailed it. I would feel so disrespected if I got a couple bites from an entire shared appetizer without a second thought from my partner. It feels needlessly selfish
I hate that women are expected to be surrogate mommies for these guys. AND. I hate that we are programmed to be embarrassed by THEIR actions. It’s NOT on you! I would suggest that the more boorish he gets the more proper and even dainty you get—multiple napkins on your lap, breaking food into very small pieces, always use utensils. Say nothing. Don’t give him control by being embarrassed ‘for him.’ If you want more appetizers, order more.
I really don’t think his werewolf eating habits are about controlling her. If so, this would be one of many red flags and he wouldn’t censor himself at other restaurants.
However, he’s going to choke one day if he regularly eats bites of food SO HUGE that he has to put his fingers in his mouth to fit it all in. That’s not safe. Do you know CPR and the Heimlich? What if he’s by himself?
