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AITA For Telling My Dad He is Not the Father of My Son? When I was a freshman in college, I had a fling with an older woman, and she got pregnant. After a lot of drama, my son Matthew was born, and my dad ended up adopting him so I could finish college and get my life together.
Now, I’m 26, engaged, and my fiancée and I just bought a house. We both love Matthew and want him to live with us. But my dad still treats me like Matthew’s older brother, not his father.
He says I need his permission to spend time with my son, even though I’m a responsible adult now. I don’t agree with how my dad is raising Matthew and believe I could do a better job.
When I told him I wanted to take over as Matthew’s parent, he refused and said it’s not going to happen. It’s frustrating because I’m not a kid anymore, and I feel like I should have a say in my son’s life.
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AITA For Telling My Dad He’s Not the Father of My Son?
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YTA
Your father/parents adopted him. Legally, that makes them parents.
Plus, he’s seven. He has a home, and a stable life. You don’t get to throw that into chaos just because you feel ready now.
What you want doesn’t matter, at all. What matters is the best interest of the child. And you’ve given no reasons why this child’s best interest is to leave the only home he’s known, and the parents who have cared for him, and live with you.
YTA
If your Dad adopted Matthew, he is Matthew’s Dad. He has been Matthew’s Dad for 7 years.
If there was a temporary custody arrangement in place saying that when you reach a certain age, you’ll take over parental responsibility again then I’ll change my ruling, but you said your Dad adopted him, making your Dad his Dad. You don’t get to change your mind 7 years in, because it’s now convenient. Unless that was always the agreement.
my dad ended up being the one who adopted him.
AITA for reminding my dad he’s not my son’s parent?
yeah, yta. Your dad took him and cared for him when you were unwilling or unable. Your dad is his dad and to think anything else is beyond disrespectful.
YTA here, because you don’t seem to understand what adoption means. You don’t get to dictate to your dad what happens with Matthew. That’s because your dad is his parent now.That’s the whole point of adopting.
If it’s a legal guardianship type thing, that can be challenged if you want, but you didn’t make much of a case to do this. If your dad hadn’t stepped in when he did, who would have been raising Matthew?
You were a legal adult when you consented to the adoption. Maybe show some appreciation?
How many teen moms have been told “you were old enough to make it, you’re old enough to raise it” and had to put all life plans on hold because they got pregnant? OP got to walk away basically scot-free from an irresponsible pregnancy and is now whining and complaining about not being able to treat his 7 year old legal brother like a new puppy to please his fiancee. Grow up, OP. Your chronological age isn’t everything, emotional maturity means a lot. YTA, you had your chance to be his father and put his interests ahead of your own and you didn’t.
