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AITA for saying my wife that she does not need to be with her sick friend? My wife, Sarah, has a long-time friend named Anthony who’s currently battling cancer. While I’ve always found Anthony’s constant presence in our lives mildly annoying, I’ve managed to keep my feelings in check. However, things have recently taken a turn for the worse.
Anthony’s condition requires regular hospital visits for chemotherapy, and Sarah committed to being there for every single session as his sole support. At first, I didn’t mind, but it’s starting to impact me. I’m frequently stuck at home with our son because Sarah is at the hospital, leaving me unable to see friends or handle personal errands.
Last week, Sarah had another chemo session to attend, and I had a planned lunch with my mom and sister. I told Sarah that I couldn’t stay home with our son because of this commitment. She insisted on going to the hospital, and I lost my patience. I told her she didn’t need to be there every time and suggested she could visit Anthony at home the next day instead.
Sarah got furious, accusing me of being cruel and making her look bad for not supporting Anthony in his time of need. She argued that my lunch plans weren’t as important as Anthony’s chemo session, and we ended up in a heated argument. She chose to stay home that day, but now she’s ignoring me, and her friends think I’m being a heartless jerk.
I’m torn between wanting to support my wife’s commitment and feeling frustrated about the impact it’s having on our family life. Was I wrong for pushing back on her constant presence at the hospital?
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AITA for saying my wife that she does not need to be with her sick friend?
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My wife, Sarah, has been incredibly dedicated to her friend Anthony, who’s battling a serious illness. While I’ve always found Anthony’s frequent visits to our lives a bit much, I’ve kept my opinions to myself. Lately, though, things have become more complicated.
Anthony’s illness requires him to undergo regular medical appointments, and Sarah promised to accompany him to every single one as his sole support system. Initially, I was okay with this, but it started to affect our family life. I often find myself stuck at home with our child because Sarah is at the hospital, and it’s interfering with my plans and responsibilities.
Recently, Sarah had another appointment to attend, and I had a long-awaited lunch planned with my mom and sister. When I told Sarah I needed to stay home to fulfill this commitment, she insisted on going to the hospital. I ended up snapping and suggested she could visit Anthony on a different day instead of attending every single appointment.
Sarah was livid, calling me heartless and accusing me of undermining her support for Anthony. She argued that my lunch was insignificant compared to Anthony’s medical needs, and our argument got pretty heated. Sarah decided to skip the lunch, but now she’s distancing herself from me, and her friends think I’m being selfish and inconsiderate.
I’m caught between supporting my wife’s commitment and feeling frustrated by how it’s impacting our family life. Did I overstep by questioning her constant presence at Anthony’s appointments?
I don’t understand. Why do you think going to lunch or out with your friends is more important than someone going to chemo? Why can’t you schedule your fun time on a different day than when your wife’s friend has chemo? Why do you think you are “watching” your son? He’s YOUR son, too. Why can’t you take your son with you to lunch with your mom/his grandmother?
YTA and I can’t think of one legitimate answer to these questions that would change that.
YTA. I hope no one in your family ever gets cancer. Chemo appointments are horrible and your wife will honest to god need emotional support after having to watch her friend deal with chemo.
Its one day a week. You watch the kids. Wife either watches her friend die slowly and painfully or he gets better but is still sick and has long lasting health issues from the chemo. Wife has to witness this as it happens. You have the better end of the deal BY FAR.
YTA.
You just conveniently can only see your friends on days that Anthony has chemo treatments? Why can’t you plan around them if they’re pretty regular? It’s no different than if it was your wife’s family member.
Also, why can’t your kid come with you to see their grandma and aunt?
You are the tiniest bit inconvenienced by all of this, meanwhile someone very important to your wife has CANCER and you’re mad at her for spending time with them?
You sound jealous and petty.
