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AITA for Refusing to Cut My Hair for My Sister Cancer Treatment? My family’s background is a mix of cultures: my dad is Pacific Islander, and my mom is white. After our parents divorced, I lived with my dad until I was eleven, while my sister stayed with our mom. Now that I’m with my mom, I stay connected to my Pacific Islander roots, unlike my sister.
Four months ago, my sister was diagnosed with Sarcoma, and I’ve been supporting her through countless hospital visits and treatments. Recently, she started chemotherapy and lost her hair.
My mom asked me to shave my long hair to make a wig for her, but I refused because on my dad’s side, we only cut our hair when someone dies, and this tradition is very important to me.
Despite explaining this, my mom and sister insist I should shave my head. They say my refusal shows I don’t care about my sister. I’m hurt and feel like I’m being misunderstood. AITA for not wanting to cut my hair for a wig?
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AITA for Refusing to Cut My Hair for My Sister Cancer Treatment?
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My dad is Pacific Islander, and my mom is white. After our parents divorced, I lived with my dad until I was eleven, while my sister stayed with our mom. Now, even though I live with my mom, I stay connected to my Pacific Islander heritage.
Four months ago, my sister was diagnosed with Sarcoma and has been undergoing chemotherapy. She lost her hair, and my mom asked me to shave my long hair to make a wig for her.
I refused because on my dad’s side, we only cut our hair when someone dies, and I respect this tradition.
My mom and sister think I’m being unsupportive and insist I should shave my head. I feel hurt and misunderstood. AITA for not cutting my hair for a wig?
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Refusing to Cut My Hair for My Sister Cancer Treatment?
NTA.Do not let them bully you OP.And stop missing school for your sister.Your Mom and Sister are asking too much.Anytime someone asks you to sacrifice something to prove your love that is a step too far.A decision to sacrifice anything should come originally from YOUR heart —NOT their lips.
Agreed. Reminds me of the story I heard that even if she needed your kidney—would die without it—the doctors would tell her that you’re not a match if you told them you didn’t want to give that to her.
This!!!! 1000% they are doing the misery loves company. It sucks she has cancer. It sucks she lost her hair. But you losing yours and being bald doesn’t help anyone. You missing school is not helping her. It seems like they are so focused on you paying some price for this misfortune. Grief makes people do crazy stuff, so does fear. I think OP would benefit from an extended visit to dad. Maybe if your removed for a bit these strage impulses will be handled better. I would also push for therapy for op so she can learn about setting healthy boundaries and getting some rational support.
There was a reddit post a few years ago with a similar situation. Girl with fantastic hair ( hair model) dates boy whose sister gets cancer. Sister and her mom start insisting girlfriend shave her head to show support. This would screw with girlfriends job and livelihood. She came to reddit to ask if she was the asshole. Resoundingly NTA
NTA. I actually just did research on this before I dared answer. If you havent fully explained your culture to her, (other than simply saying it’s tradition not to cut it unless someone dies) explain to your sister exactly how important it is to YOU PERSONALLY and why it will play such a big part in your mourning process so that she understands that you aren’t refusing her just because ‘that’s what Pacific Islander’s do’.
