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In a unique and intricate situation, a woman finds herself navigating a marriage that began as a pragmatic arrangement but has since evolved into a genuine partnership. Initially, she and her husband entered into a “paper marriage” to address personal and cultural pressures. This marriage was meant to be non-romantic and temporary, with plans to end it after three years.
AITA for Not Being Honest About My Marriage?
However, their circumstances shifted dramatically when they became guardians of their niece and nephew following the tragic deaths of the husband’s sister and her husband. As they took on the responsibility of raising the children, their relationship transformed into a committed, albeit unconventional, family unit.
Over the past seven years, their bond deepened, and they chose to continue their marriage for the sake of the children and their growing connection. Despite their commitment to one another and the children, their marriage has remained non-romantic and non-sexual.
Recently, the husband’s mother, unhappy with the arrangement and desiring a more traditional marriage for her son, revealed the true nature of their marital status to the extended family. This disclosure led to significant backlash from relatives who were previously unaware of the marriage’s unconventional origins.
Overwhelmed by the response, the woman has decided to acknowledge that their marriage began as a non-traditional arrangement but to present it as a genuine partnership moving forward. She plans to keep further details private and has resolved to manage the situation with discretion. This scenario highlights the complexities of personal arrangements that defy traditional norms and the challenges of balancing familial expectations with societal pressures.
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments AITA for Not Being Honest About My Marriage?
NTA
It’s so obviously NTA from a western point of view.
But the problem here is you don’t live in the west and whilst we can offer to help you validate your feelings you still have to navigate this difficult situation in an environment that is probably not as sympathetic.
I hope you find a way of doing this, and I wish you the best of luck. I would have little scruple in your situation and just lie saying your MIL is making things up and you or your husband are just not able to have children.
But you and your husband need to be able to figure out what’s best.
NTA because your marriage is no one’s business but your own and your husband’s. Since it seems to be working fine and no one is complaining, its definetly not the MIL’S place to be upset.
NTA.
But how the h*ll did anyone find out what goes on in your bedroom? This is so beyond appropriate. I understand our cultures our different, but I am offended that your MIL thinks she gets to dictate what intimate relationship you have with your husband. Either tell her it is none of her business, or if it is her business in your culture agree to her request then continue to live your life as you do. Not everyone gets pregnant. Unless there is a camera in your bedroom, keep your secret and live your life your way.
ET318 writes:
NTA. I can’t say I entirely understand the desire to marry for purely societal reasons but what you described sounds very mature. As long you are and your husband are happy with the current situation and the kids are well cared for then I don’t think you have done anything wrong.
NTA.
IT’S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!
You have a beautiful family and by your account, you and your husband have respect, admiration and true affection for one another.
Honestly, what you two have is A LOT MORE than other married couples have who consummate their marriage. A tremendous amount MORE.
