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AITA for My Husband HR Report After a Coworker Accused Me of Grooming? My husband began a night shift job a few months ago and occasionally interacts with the morning shift staff. This morning, while grabbing a quick drink in the break room before finishing up, a coworker noticed his wedding band and asked if he was married. She then asked his age and remarked that he seemed too young to be married. He told her he was 24 and that we’d been happily married for 5 years. She was surprised and said, “So you were 19 when you got married?” He confirmed that he was 19, almost 20, and I had just turned 20 at the time.
The coworker then claimed, “So you were groomed.” He replied, “No, we were both over 18 when we married, and there’s just a 5-month age gap. We were adults.” She insisted that the small age difference and being over 18 didn’t matter and that it was disgusting for a 20-year-old to marry “a teenager.” Despite his attempts to clarify that it wasn’t grooming, she kept making snide remarks about me. He eventually said, “Even if it were grooming which it isn’t I’d do it all over again because it’s been great.”
After their conversation, she reported him to HR. He then called HR himself to report her behavior. HR was puzzled by her complaint and didn’t understand why she felt wronged. He apologized for his comment, acknowledging it wasn’t the best choice of words, but explained he was frustrated by her remarks about me. HR said his response wasn’t serious enough for disciplinary action but offered him the chance to file a complaint against her for her aggressive and inappropriate behavior.
We’re surprised by this, as we come from a small town where young marriages are common, and we’ve never faced such reactions. Now that we’re in a larger city, while we’ve received questions about our young marriage, no one has ever suggested it involved grooming. She mentioned she was 20 during their exchange.
HR found her complaint confusing and unclear in intent. The only problem with his comment was that it might have implied he’d willingly get groomed, which wasn’t the case. I hadn’t considered that she might have been attracted to him. He’s quite handsome, and I tease him about people finding him attractive. He’s devoted to me and says he “identifies as married” in terms of his sexuality.
Some doubt the authenticity of this story. It’s genuine; my husband told me what happened, and I posted it to get feedback on her behavior. I’m not interested in internet points or fabricating stories.
Thanks for the support regarding our young marriage. We met when we were 17 and 16, worked together at a fast-food restaurant, and have been committed since then. He’s a wonderful husband and is known at work for buying me flowers regularly.
HR will review the camera footage for any additional context. I’ll update you if there are any significant findings. His shift rarely overlaps with the morning crew, so it’s unlikely he’ll have further issues with her.
He doesn’t work an office job, and I’m keeping the specifics vague for privacy.HR issues are handled over the phone as there is no on-site HR.I don’t use autocapitalization on my phone due to autism and a desire not to seem too harsh. I provide detailed accounts because I listen closely when my husband shares these events. This is a real situation, and while it may sound incredible, it’s not made up. I wanted to understand her behavior and get some perspective.
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AITA for My Husband HR Report After a Coworker Accused Me of Grooming?
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A few months ago, my husband started working the night shift and occasionally crosses paths with the morning crew. This morning, while he was grabbing a quick drink in the break room, a coworker noticed his wedding ring and asked about his marital status. When he mentioned he was 24 and we’ve been happily married for 5 years, she expressed surprise and asked if he got married at 19. He confirmed that he was 19, almost 20, and I had just turned 20.
The coworker then claimed, “So you were groomed.” He replied, “No, we were both over 18 when we married, and there’s just a 5-month age gap. We were definitely adults.” She dismissed this, insisting the age difference and being over 18 didn’t matter, and found it disgusting for a 20-year-old to marry “a teenager.” Despite his clarifications, she kept making derogatory remarks about me. Frustrated, he said, “Even if it were grooming—which it isn’t—I’d do it all over again because it’s been great.”
Following their conversation, she reported him to HR. He also contacted HR to report her behavior. HR was confused by her complaint and didn’t understand her perspective. While he apologized for his comment, he explained his frustration with her remarks about me. HR decided his response wasn’t serious enough for action but gave him the option to file a complaint against her for her aggressive behavior.
We’re taken aback, as in our small hometown, young marriages are common, and we’ve never faced this kind of reaction. In the city, while we’ve had questions about our age, no one has accused us of grooming. She revealed during their conversation that she was 20. HR found her complaint confusing, and the issue with his comment was that it might have implied he’d willingly be groomed, which wasn’t true.
I hadn’t considered she might be attracted to him. He’s very handsome, and I tease him about others’ attention. He’s committed to me and says he “identifies as married” in his sexuality. Some have questioned the authenticity of this story. It’s genuine; my husband shared it with me, and I posted to understand her behavior. I’m not seeking attention or making up stories.
Thank you for your support regarding our young marriage. We met when we were 17 and 16, worked together at a fast-food restaurant, and have been devoted ever since. He’s a great husband known for buying me flowers regularly.
HR will review the camera footage for more context. I’ll update if there are any significant developments. Since his shifts rarely overlap with the morning crew, further issues are unlikely.
He doesn’t work an office job, so I’m keeping details vague for privacy. HR issues are handled over the phone, as there’s no on-site HR. I avoid autocapitalization on my phone due to autism and concerns about sounding too harsh. I provide detailed accounts because I listen closely to my husband’s experiences. This situation is real, and while it may seem unusual, it’s not fabricated. I wanted to get some perspective on her behavior.
Let’s catch up on the top Comments on the Reddit Posts: AITA for My Husband HR Report After a Coworker Accused Me of Grooming?
kenjilynn_07 Writes:
Exactly. Not to mention that many states have Romeo and Juliet laws, which allow for relationships between older minors and legal adults if the age gap is small (usually three years, e.g., a 16 year old dating a 19 year old). And obviously, OP’s relationship falls into this category. Hardly scandalous, and definitely not grooming.
How does a 20 year old groom a 19 year old when you are less than a year apart? That’s wild.
Reminds me how the day you turn 18, you are now a child predator because you’re talking to minors online. Um, many 18 year olds are still in high school. I was almost 19 when I graduated. My dad was 19 when he graduated. Of course you will still be with minors and around them because they’re your peers. You’re all in high school. In small towns, all grades share the same school bus and ride it at the same time.
How does a 20 year old groom a 19 year old when you are less than a year apart? That’s wild.
Reminds me how the day you turn 18, you are now a child predator because you’re talking to minors online. Um, many 18 year olds are still in high school. I was almost 19 when I graduated. My dad was 19 when he graduated. Of course you will still be with minors and around them because they’re your peers. You’re all in high school. In small towns, all grades share the same school bus and ride it at the same time.
I think that’s what they mean.
When people obviously harass you over shit that is nonya (none of your beeswax) and get away with it, they’re more likely to keep doing it. Unless they experience the consequences of their foot in the mouth disease. Either in the form of being put on notice, or actually being fired.
That her allegation was bullshit is besides the point. It’s that she felt empowered to make her observations known that needs nipping in the bud, or a boot up the ass on her way out, whichever is more applicable.
KoalaGrunt0311 Writes:
In my experience as a supervisor, the only time HR would suggest creating more work for themselves and putting issues on official record is that there’s a history of these actions by the individual, and they want to start putting nails in the coffin.
