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AITA for Leaving My Babies Alone Inside? A 20-year-old mother of triplets, just two months into motherhood, is grappling with the immense stress of caring for her babies. To cope, she occasionally steps outside her main floor apartment for a brief moment of fresh air and to calm down when her infants cry uncontrollably. She ensures their safety by staying right beside the door and monitoring them closely with a baby camera.
Her fiancé, 24, discovers her outside during one of these breaks and reacts strongly, accusing her of neglect. His disapproval escalates when he involves his parents, who also criticize her actions. The young mother, who grew up in foster care and cherishes her fiancé’s family as her own, feels deeply hurt and is unsure if she should apologize.
From an outside perspective, her need for a short break is understandable and necessary for maintaining her mental health. Caring for triplets at such a young age, with minimal support from her fiancé due to his work and school commitments, is incredibly demanding. Her method of monitoring her babies while taking a moment for herself reflects responsible parenting under stressful conditions.
However, the fiancé and his family’s reaction reveals a different view on acceptable childcare practices. While their concern for the babies’ safety is valid, their harsh criticism may overlook the young mother’s need for support and understanding during this challenging time. A calm discussion is needed to bridge the gap in understanding and find a balanced approach that addresses both the babies’ safety and the mother’s well-being.
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AITA for Leaving My Babies Alone Inside?
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Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Leaving My Babies Alone Inside?
The whole purpose of the baby monitor is so that you can leave the babies in a room on their own. Being just outside the apartment door is no big deal (says a grandmother)
It sounds like you are overwhelmed. You need some help with the babies from time to time. Either the father needs to be home more or his family should help out. One baby is a lot, three have you completely outnumbered.
NTA
NTA- you are being a GOOD parent by recognising when you are reaching a breaking point and taking a moment to yourself.
Your partner and their family are being ridiculous. Everyone needs a moment alone away from their babies, 5-10 mins alone is nothing. Once the babies are in a safe environment, fed and cleaned there is absolutely no harm in walking away for a few moments breathing space.
Nta. They teach in parenting classes to step away if it’s overwhelming as long as baby ain’t gonna be harmed. Is the significant other just ignorant or just doesn’t care to step up his/her game to help?
NTA – What you’re doing is preventing shaken baby syndrome. When the caregiver is overwhelmed, you need to step away for a few minutes to collect yourself and breathe. Center yourself, calm down, do what you need to do. You’d only be an AH if you left them alone for long stretches of time, but it sounds like you only do it for short periods and monitor them when you do so. Nothing wrong with that.
What does your fiancé do to help with the babies?
NTA. When I had my baby one of the things the nurses told me repetitively while in hospital and during the home visits is that if she is crying and I know she has been fed, she has a clean nappy on and she isn’t sick and I am getting stressed out its ok to go outside for a few minutes to just recollect myself.
Their exact words were “a crying baby is an alive baby”.
They tell you this because it is better for a baby to be left to cry for a little while and the parents to get a breather, than for parents to wig out and hurt their babies in frustration.
This advice was so important. It allowed me to do what I needed to do without feeling guilty. And those few minutes really do help in those times when they won’t settle. And I had one, let alone if I had three.
Edit: thanks for the awards and votes. I really hope OP sees she has nothing to feel guilty about and is doing a great job! ❤
