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AITA for Feeling Jealous of My Husband Ex Wife? am a 40-year-old woman, and I feel very jealous of my husband’s ex-wife. Our relationship started with an affair, which I know was wrong. His marriage was ending, and he wanted to leave her.
When she found out, she stayed calm and only asked if I truly loved her husband. I said yes, and she told me to treat her kids with respect and not force them to accept me. She didn’t cause any problems during the divorce.
It was a tough time. My husband’s parents and friends criticized us, and his parents almost disowned him. If it wasn’t for his ex, they would have. She convinced them not to cut us off. They forgave my husband, but I still feel like an outsider. However, they do love our son.
My husband’s ex is very different. She never held a grudge against me and always encouraged her kids to have a relationship with their dad. His oldest daughter doesn’t talk to him, which hurts him deeply. The other kids are polite to me but don’t love me. She never spoke badly about me or called me a homewrecker.
She has always done her best for the kids and still tries to help her oldest daughter have a good relationship with her dad. When I was pregnant, she congratulated me and even sent a gift, even though
she wasn’t invited to my baby shower. I feel guilty for hurting such a kind woman.
To make things more complicated, she’s now in a relationship with my cousin. My family adores her. She treats all the kids equally and often sends treats for my son.
She even treats my son like her own. I used to wonder if she was trying to win her husband back, but she told me she didn’t see the point in hating me because her marriage was over anyway.
I’m jealous of her because she’s not only beautiful but also graceful. Even though I’m younger, she looks better than me. Though I took her place in my husband’s life, I can never be like her.
Edit: I knew I wouldn’t be seen as a good person here, and I know I’m not for breaking up a home. I’m not in a good place right now, partly because of my husband, but that’s another story.
, I admire her. She’s an amazing person, and I’m glad there’s no ex-wife drama in my life. But it also makes me insecure because even my parents like her.
She met my cousin a year ago when she came to drop off my son and stayed for dinner. They hit it off and started dating. This wasn’t written by her; she doesn’t use social media much as far as I know.
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I hate to crash such a lovely story, but I am thinking there is a strong possibility that this is actually the ex wife writing as if she were the AP and I don’t understand why.. The way she slips up and says things like not to push the kids to accept “her” when it should have been “me” and the way she said she convinced the hubbys parents not to disown “them” when it should have been “us” seems like a little too convenient to be a mistake when you pair that with the fact that nearly no AP speaks so highly of their partners ex… This is very strange and I wonder what the motivation is behind this. It’s like OP (ex wife) is seeking some sort of validation, maybe she’s a narcissist. I don’t get it. There’s something fishy going on.
Strive to be kind so you don’t have to be jealous. You can still have grace right now by taking her kindness and giving it back in spades.
Figure out why you were willing to be his mistress. It doesn’t sound like you feel very good about yourself, so perhaps that’s what you need to be working on now and less on the intentions of others because you’re not going to get that information fully anyway.
And if you have regrets about your choice, definitely see a therapist about it. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have regrets about their past choices. Good luck .
Girl, you saved her from a shitty husband. Why would she be mean to you?
You may not see it but she won by having a better life. Her kids are grown up, she is on a stable relationship and is surrounded by love from every side. You are insecure because deep down inside you know you got the worst deal by being tagged as the side chick that got away with it with a somewhat unreliable man.
Your husband’s ex-wife is a nice woman. Well she is just keeping up because of the kids and yes everything was good until you came. I respect your husband’s ex wife but i don’t respect women like you . No matter how good you behave here,you probably wrecked a family.As for your husband and you, surely karma will be coming just remember “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”. No matter how much you post or people like you just come here for sympathy once a cheater will always be a cheater.
Maybe you needed to get a married man because that’s easier for you to shine compared to the official wife. It’s easier to get a man that is unhappy in his marriage than a single guy who has no comparison to make. You were expecting an evil ex -wife that would make you feel like his saviour. You should really work on being a better person because you cannot change that situation without causing much drama and hate, even if you think it would make you feel better. People are not you and will side with her, without any doubt. At least you have some clarity right now. Maybe (probably) you’re a better fit for your husband than her and just go along with it. They were not in love anymore anyway, so take that as a proof that they were not meant to be together. Be kind and gentle, do your best. See her classy act as something to learn from. I hope you’ll find peace in working on your insecurities.
