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Three weeks ago, my husband died in a car accident. We found out he was actually on a cheating trip, which he had been doing for five years.
It’s been a hard time for me and my kids, ages 7, 14, and 19. Only my oldest knew about the affair, and we agreed to keep it a secret.
His mistress wanted to attend the funeral, but I told her she couldn’t come because I wanted to protect my kids, especially my eldest, who is already struggling with anger and grief.
Despite this, she showed up at the graveyard and stood out, which made things more difficult. I asked my brother to handle it, and he removed her quietly.
She later texted me, saying I was selfish, and denied her a proper goodbye. I’m questioning whether I did the right thing. I still think my kids’ well-being was the priority. She can visit the grave on her own if she needs closure.
So, AITA for keeping her away from the funeral?
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AITA for Excluding My Late Husband’s Mistress from His Funeral?
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Three weeks ago, my husband died in a car accident. We found out he was cheating for five years. It’s been tough for me and my kids, ages 7, 14, and 19. Only my oldest knows about the affair.
His mistress wanted to come to the funeral, but I said no because I wanted to protect my kids, especially my eldest who is struggling. She showed up anyway, so I had my brother quietly remove her.
She texted me, calling me selfish for not letting her say goodbye. I’m questioning if I made the right choice. I think protecting my kids was the priority. She can visit the grave on her own.
So, AITA for keeping her away from the funeral?
Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Excluding My Late Husband’s Mistress from His Funeral?
Agreed. These are not the actions of a woman who didn’t know the man she was seeing had a family. She knew. She didn’t care.
NTA.
If she wants to “say goodbye properly” she can pay for a memorial service of her own.
Having an affair with someone who already has a spouse and children has drawbacks. Not being welcome at weddings, funerals, and other family functions is one of them. She can not plausibly claim to be surprised at being asked to leave.
Not at all! It’s not like his gravesite won’t be there tomorrow. She should be equally mad at him for keeping her his side piece for so many years that she’s a stranger at his god damn funeral! OP has nothing to feel guilty about and is NTA
An affair partner is going to be excluded from the married person’s important milestones of life like birthdays, celebrations, promotions, family holidays… and their funeral.
NTA. Where does this woman keep all her audacity.
NTA.
If she wants to “say goodbye properly” she can pay for a memorial service of her own.
Having an affair with someone who already has a spouse and children has drawbacks. Not being welcome at weddings, funerals, and other family functions is one of them. She can not plausibly claim to be surprised at being asked to leave.
