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A 23-year-old woman recently ended her engagement with her 27-year-old boyfriend. Their relationship faced a significant issue when he criticized her work outfit, which he deemed too revealing despite it being fully covered. This was not an isolated incident; he often tried to control her clothing choices.
During their last argument, he made hurtful comments, accusing her of wanting to show off. She had previously warned him about such behavior and decided to call off the wedding, even though their families were involved in the planning.
Since the breakup, he has been apologizing and asking for another chance. He acknowledges his mistakes and promises to change, but his tendency to lose control and make mean remarks has been a recurring issue. He is willing to cancel the wedding and work on himself if given another chance.
The woman is torn. She values their years together but struggles with forgiving him and moving forward. Although he has good qualities, his insecurities and controlling behavior have caused problems. She is unsure whether to give him another chance, balancing her strong-willed nature with the need to protect her own well-being.
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Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments; AITA for Ending My Relationship Just Before the Wedding Due to a Dispute?
Can confirm! Been there, done that, and I ended up divorced for this and many other reasons. He’s only saying what he thinks you want to hear so he can stay in control, or at least maintain the illusion of control for himself.
As Lundy Bancroft writes in his book “Why Does He Do That? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men”:
“Men are not abusive because they’re angry, they’re angry because they’re abusive.”
In other words, OP’s fiancé gives in to his anger about how she dresses because he already has the abusive mindset that he has the right to control he
True this! You probably really dodged a bullet.
I made the mistake of marrying a guy like that. He hid his real self until the wedding was over. And then all Hell broke loose. Marriage didn’t last a year. There were some red flags in my experience. But OP, you were smart enough to see them in yours
Nta It seems that he may be too insecure about you .If u say you are dressing modestly and still he has a problem it might not be just about the dress but rather might be a deep rooted insecurity with him that can manifest itself in other ways after enough time. While u can help him gradually get past his insecurities you must not tolerate any disrespect due to his issues.
You dodged a bullet. I would advise counseling if you decide to stay together. If you had married, he would have dialed his bs to 11
