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My son is getting married to a wonderful woman we all love. She’s kind, and polite, and has a great bond with my 15-year-old granddaughter, which is special because my granddaughter hasn’t gotten along with my son’s past partners.
During a family chat, they mentioned they couldn’t afford both their dream wedding and honeymoon. I offered to help by paying for half so they could have both.
My other son then asked why I was paying for their wedding when I didn’t pay for his. I told him it was because I didn’t like his wife, and he knows that. She’s been distant and barely speaks to us, so I didn’t feel right paying for their wedding.
He said I was playing favorites, but I reminded him I didn’t pay for his brother’s first wedding either. I even offered to help with his next wedding if it happened.
He got really angry, called me an asshole, and left. Now, I’m wondering if I was wrong to handle it this way.
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AITA for Covering My Son Wedding Costs but Not My Other Son?
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I didn’t pay for his brother’s first wedding either so in order not to show favoritiam I’m willing to pay for his next wedding
Oh damn. That hurt me and I’m not your son, lol.
YTA for saying that, but the petty in me respects that shade, lol.
realstareyes writes:Wait, did you just imply during the conversation that you think your son‘s marriage will fall apart??
YTA. For the blatant favoritism AND for telling your son that you think there might be a divorce. That‘s really insensitive and mean.v
mero8181 writes:That isn’t playing favorites…This sub basically comes down to parents must give their kids equal money at all times.
The parents are allowed to say, we don’t approve of your wife and won’t’ help. That is not playing favorites that are simply being truthful.
debdnow writes:Oh, I laughed out loud at you paying for his second wedding! Thank you.
NTA: Is it favoritism? Yup, between the wives, not the sons. It’s your money and you can choose how you spend it.
EnvironmentalRuin863 writes:YTA for offering money to one son and not the other. Of course it’s favouritism, you are literally favouring one son without favouring the other. You don’t owe either of them anything, but as a mum you should realise that as soon as you offer money to one, you’ll have to be prepared to offer it to the other too. And not just when he leaves the wife you don’t like. If anything, you being catty about it will make him run to her more.
