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In my family, having kids young is the norm. My parents started their family at 19, and most of my siblings and extended family had children in their early 20s. By 27, everyone was usually done having kids, and they believed this was the best way to do things.
I’m different. I didn’t follow the family tradition of getting married and having kids early. I’m 39 now, and I had my three kids later, at 33, 35, and 36. I knew I wanted children, but I didn’t feel ready in my 20s. Money was tight, and I saw my siblings and relatives struggling with large families (many had 5-7 kids) while still very young. That wasn’t the life I wanted, so I decided to wait.
My family didn’t agree with my choice. They constantly criticized me for waiting, calling me “ancient” and making jokes about me being too old. They said it was unfair to my future kids because I wouldn’t be young and active enough to keep up with them or be a fun grandma when they had their own children. It was toxic, and it really got to me. My husband, who was my boyfriend back then, was shocked by their attitudes when he first heard it.
By the time I was 29, I’d had enough and decided to distance myself from my family. I just couldn’t handle the constant judgment anymore.
Now, years later, my family is accusing me of showing off. They say I’m rubbing their noses in the vacations I take with my husband and kids and the gifts we buy for them. One of my sisters complained that her kids were upset because my oldest had a birthday party at a trampoline park, and they never get to do things like that. My mom even said that by taking my kids on vacations “at such a young age,” I was acting like I was better than them since they had to wait until they were adults to do those things.
At first, I was just annoyed, but then I decided to address it directly. I created a group chat with my family and told them that this “ancient geriatric mom” had no time for their jealousy. I wasn’t going to apologize for the choices I made or for enjoying being able to treat my kids. I warned them that if they couldn’t stop with the negativity, I would cut them off completely.
Now, they’re saying I’m being mean and that my response was unnecessary. But I’m just tired of the judgment and the bitterness.
So, am I wrong for finally standing up for myself?
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AITA for Clapping Back at My Family’s Jealousy with Some “Geriatric” Sass?
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In my family, having children young is the norm, with most members starting their families in their late teens or early twenties. I’m different; I waited until my mid-30s to have my three kids, feeling that I wasn’t ready earlier due to financial and personal reasons. My family criticized me for this, calling me “old” and making jokes about my age.
By 29, I decided to limit contact with them due to their constant judgment. Now, they accuse me of showing off because I take my kids on vacations and buy them nice things. They also complain that I’m making them feel bad about their own children’s experiences.
I confronted them in a group chat, saying I wouldn’t apologize for my choices or for enjoying the life I’ve built. I warned that if the negativity didn’t stop, I’d cut off contact completely. They’re now saying my response was too harsh, but I’m just tired of their criticism.
Let’s Find Out the Comments: AITA for Clapping Back at My Family’s Jealousy with Some “Geriatric” Sass?
Familiar_Living_5815 Writes:
I have a close friend who does this, and I have met many people who engage in similar behavior when upset. I don’t find it healthy, and it seems like it can be incredibly hard for those who do it to stop. I think people can fall into the habit really easily if they are not careful, as it is considered fairly normal to look people up and browse through their social media for no reason. People seem to forget that they have the option of distancing themselves from people when they use internet stalking as a coping mechanism.
I think that’s sad.. 😔 When I see family/friends post I’m so happy or sad or whatever emotion the post provoked! It’s 99% of the time positive bc I want good things for others! I enjoyed having kids young, but we spread ours out and had our last at 35 & 37 yo. And it’s so different! But wonderful just the same! My sister waited until I think 32 or right in there to have her first and second! Who cares she can buy more! It’s not a contest! 🤷♀️ Seriously who gets mad about that?! 🤔 nta!!
numbersthen0987431 Writes:
So here’s the thing:
- You didn’t have children when they wanted you to, so they mocked you
- You saved up your money, and became a more well rounded person, before having children, which they mocked you for
- You had your children later in life, where they mocked your age
- You provided a financially secure life for your children, which they mock you for
- You spend your time and money on your children, which they mock you for
Exactly what about these actions make them “good” human beings? (rhetorical question, because the reality is they just suck as people).
You’re NTA, and your choice to go LC or NC is valid. If they can’t act like adults, then why put up with them???
womanroaring78 Writes:
you’d think lol. but the parents are being petty so they’ve probably raised petty kids who are like, oh you never did that for us why didn’t you do that and she does? they sound super entitled, so the kids are probably that way too and going to complain about what they didn’t have as kids now that they are adults.
Money-Interesting Writes:
You can also block specific people from each post. Just click on the spot where it shows shared to public (the world symbol) or friends (the people symbol) and change it to friends except, then click on whoever you don’t want to see it. I do that for political posts I would like to share but know certain people will jump on w/their ignorant arguments and not stop being hostile and rude, for example, but they are family that I don’t want to completely cut off. Tho I have definitely went LC or NC with some of them.
