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I just turned 21 last month and have spent most of my birthdays alone because I’ve been away at college. A month before my birthday, my mom asked what I wanted to do, and I told her I just wanted to spend the day with her since I’ve been away. She found a VR place I love and made reservations for us, which made me happy.
But a few days before my birthday, she called to say she cancelled our plans to go on a “date night” with her boyfriend because it was the only day they could get a table at a restaurant. I reminded her she promised to spend my birthday with me, and she told me to get over it and spend the day with my girlfriend, who’s out of the country until July. So, I spent my birthday alone.
I posted on social media about how she broke her promise and left me on my milestone birthday. Now my family is divided some side with me, while others think I was selfish and overreacted by posting. I haven’t taken it down yet. Am I in the wrong?
Just to clarify, this isn’t a one-time thing. Since I was 12, my mom has often put other things ahead of important events in my life. And for those wondering, I’m her son, not her daughter.
Read more:Reddit
A young man named Alex recently turned 21 and has spent most of his birthdays alone due to being away at college. A month before his birthday, his mother asked what he wanted to do, and he expressed his desire to spend the day with her since they had been apart for so long. His mother made reservations at a VR place that Alex loves, making him happy and looking forward to the day.
However, just a few days before his birthday, Alex’s mother called to inform him that she had cancelled their plans to go on a “date night” with her boyfriend because it was the only day they could get a table at a particular restaurant. Alex reminded her of her promise to spend his birthday with him, but she dismissed his concerns and suggested he spend the day with his girlfriend, who was out of the country until July. Consequently, Alex ended up spending his birthday alone.
Feeling hurt and abandoned, Alex posted on social media about how his mother broke her promise and left him alone on his milestone birthday. This action divided his family some sided with Alex, while others believed he was selfish and overreacted by posting publicly. The post remains up, and Alex is unsure if he was in the wrong.
Reflecting on this situation, it’s clear that Alex’s feelings of hurt and disappointment are valid, especially given that this isn’t an isolated incident; his mother has a history of prioritizing other things over important events in his life since he was 12. Publicly airing grievances on social media can be contentious, but it also highlights his deep-seated frustration and need for acknowledgement and support.
The lesson from Alex’s experience is the importance of keeping promises and recognizing the emotional impact our actions can have on those we care about. For Alex, it may be beneficial to have a candid conversation with his mother about his feelings and the recurring pattern of her prioritizing others over him. Open communication might help in mending their relationship and setting healthier expectations for the future.
Is blasting someone on social media generally an AH move? Yes
Is this justified? Also yes.
Given the mom’s history of canceling on OP’s events per his comments, a post calling out his mom flaking on him for a date she planned after she already made plans with OP is well deserved. Does the mom even like OP?
NTA. Your mom did abandon you for a date. She prioritized her horniness over her child. She also knew so little about you and your GF that she didn’t know your GF was away on business.
People get away with being complete jerks because everyone else wants to be ‘polite’ and keep things private. Calling out a jerk’s bad behaviour is causing them embarrassment? Good. Family upset because it got pointed out? Too bad, so sad.
Hoplite68 writes:NTA. She made plans with her child, then cancelled them so she could go to a restaurant. The restaurant ranked higher than you on her priorities.
It’s time to return that favour, don’t out energy into a relationship that you isnt even remotely close to being matched.
MavisBeaconSexTape writes:Eh, NTA in a way because that’s messed up to be ditched by your own mom on your bday… but honestly is that a social media post you want to look back on years from now or have show up on some anniversary reminder? Assuming it’s Facebook I guess.
QueenYeen writes:NTA, not only did your mom cancel last minute but she was the one who offered in the first place. Does she do this to you a lot?
That said, while I don’t think posting on social media makes you an A H it is unclear what you wanted to happen when you did that? Folks tend to look down on others who share personal info like that, and it’s unlikely it’ll make your mom change her behavior or apologize so even tho I don’t think you’re an A H for expressing your hurt and frustration you maybe have harmed yourself with this..
