AITA for Calling My Sister Tattoo Idea Cruel?

I’m a 26-year-old guy with a 28-year-old sister, N, who has always had a complicated relationship with our parents, especially our mom. While my relationship with them is solid, N’s has been strained for as long as I can remember. In college, N became very close with her creative writing professor, forming what seemed like a surrogate mother-daughter bond. This was hard for my mom to watch, especially since N’s attachment to the professor was so evident.

AITA for Calling My Sister Tattoo Idea Cruel?

A month ago, the professor passed away unexpectedly, which hit N hard. During the holidays, she was visibly depressed, which was a tough reminder for my mom of how much N had valued the professor over her. Despite my mom’s attempts to comfort N, she kept her distance, barely sharing anything about her life.

Adding to N’s distress, she got a severe burn on her wrist when she received the news. The burn, which looked pretty serious, was a painful reminder of the professor’s death. I understood why this was especially tough for her.

Recently, while we were on FaceTime, N excitedly shared her plan to get a tattoo over the burn. She wanted to commemorate the professor with a large tattoo of a flower that the professor had once given her. This flower was significant because it was part of a tradition they had, marking special occasions like birthdays.

I expressed my concern, saying that such a tattoo might come across as insensitive to our mom, who already feels pushed aside and might view the tattoo as a permanent reminder of her exclusion. N reacted harshly, accusing me of overstepping and calling me an asshole before ending the call.

She’s only sent a brief text since, congratulating me on a recent promotion. My parents haven’t said much; my dad thinks I should have kept quiet, though he agrees with me, while my mom seemed quietly appreciative of my support.

I’m wondering if I was wrong to speak up about N’s tattoo idea. Was I being too protective of our mom, or did I have a valid point?

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I’m a 26-year-old guy, and my 28-year-old sister, N, has always had a rocky relationship with our parents, especially our mom. N was very close to a professor who passed away recently, and her grief has been intense. She even got a severe burn on her wrist when she heard the news, which she’s been struggling with.

On a recent FaceTime call, N shared her idea of getting a tattoo over the burn to honor the professor—a flower that was a symbol of their special bond. While I get that it’s meaningful to her, I worried it might be seen as a hurtful reminder to our mom, who’s already feeling sidelined.

I voiced my concern, but N took it poorly, calling me an asshole and ending the call. Since then, she’s sent a brief congratulatory text for a promotion I received. My parents haven’t weighed in much, though my dad thinks I should have stayed quiet, and my mom seemed quietly grateful.

Did I cross the line in trying to protect our mom’s feelings, or did I have a valid concern?