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AITA for Being Mad My Husband Prioritizes His Daughter Over Me After My Surgery? In this situation, Ryan, who had just undergone surgery after a car accident, was the focus of intense concern from his wife, OP. OP, 33, had been anxiously waiting at the hospital for hours.
When Ryan was finally allowed visitors, he requested to see his 15-year-old daughter from a previous marriage first. His daughter and her mother arrived just in time, and OP was only allowed to join the visit at the very end. This left OP feeling hurt and overlooked, as Ryan seemed to prioritize his daughter’s visit over hers.
When OP shared her feelings with Ryan, he defended his choice strongly. He explained that seeing his daughter first was an instinctive decision he would make regardless of the circumstances. OP felt dismissed and unappreciated, as Ryan seemed oblivious to how his actions affected her. Despite her attempts to explain why she was hurt, Ryan accused her of overreacting and trying to guilt-trip him.
OP’s distress wasn’t just about the initial incident but also about Ryan’s refusal to acknowledge her feelings and the importance of her support during his vulnerable time. Ryan’s insistence that OP should simply “get over it” made things worse, leaving her feeling invalidated and hurt by his lack of empathy.
This conflict highlights a clash in priorities and emotional needs. OP feels neglected, while Ryan fails to see or address her feelings in a supportive way.
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AITA for Being Mad My Husband Prioritizes His Daughter Over Me After My Surgery?
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Let’s swiftly assess a handful of the top comments: AITA for Being Mad My Husband Prioritizes His Daughter Over Me After My Surgery?
NTA. People here are acting as if his daughter was the one in the hospital 🙄 And if he’s well enough to be asking for visitors, then by definition he is no longer on death’s door given Covid restrictions on visitation, he probably wasn’t even in the ICU but rather a surgical step-down unit, meaning the doctors thought everything was going to be completely fine. (I work in a hospital, this is how things roll during Covid).
He didn’t ask for you, was dismissive of your hurt, and honestly you probably ended up with those last 10 minutes only by accident. That tells you everything you need to know about the state of your marriage, unfortunately.
NTA- sorry but I agree with your point. You were there and yes his kid came in during visiting hours, and he gave almost the entire time to his child while just giving you a “ Fine I guess I will see you” time. I understand your point. Also it grinds my gears when people say kids come first, ugh if you house is built on sand it’s going to sink, if the house has a strong foundation it lasts.
YTA you can’t be serious, right?
You’re talking about his flesh and blood. Whether from another marriage or not, she’s HIS DAUGHTER. He was in a car accident, underwent surgery and wanted to see his own girl that was probably worried sick about him. It doesn’t matter that you were there first or chose to wait. She’s 15, are you expecting her to drive there herself? It’s not first come first serve. She has to rely on other people because she’s a MINOR. It’s heartbreaking to think that this family went through a tragedy like a car crash and the entire recovery and the biggest thing you’re worried about is who he wants to see first.
YTA. Your children always come first and are always your first priority. Your husband is correct that it is a no-brainer.
Obviously a minor cannot spend as much time as an adult waiting at the hospital, and why would she? He asked for her when he was able to see her and then she came. Sheesh, “I was there first”, are you 5?
If you want to stay in this relationship (or any with a parent) you better shape up and accept, as an adult, that his children are more important than you. That does NOT mean you are unimportant, but it means graciously taking a step back and put someone else’s needs before your own.
YTA – His child should come first and you should encourage and support that – you married a parent. A good parent.
Be proud of him for continuing to be a good parent rather than resenting the child.
